Tag Archives: funny poem

There Once Was a Nymph Named Echo

There once was a nymph named Echo

Who spent all her days drinking Prosecco.

When they said, “is that nice?”,

She would repeat their words twice,

And then she would drink more Prosecco!

There Once Was a Vampire Named Dawn

There once was a vampire named Dawn

Who liked to dance on the lawn.

When they said, “is that good?”,

She would say, “I like blood.

Won’t you join me on this lawn?”.

Cultured Miss Marr

A cultured young lady known as Marr

Has a job in a rough bar.

When she quotes Shakespeare

The customers all cheer

And dance with Marr on the bar!

Here Comes a Chopper to Chop Off my Head!

When a wicked young man named Ted

Said, “I shall chop off your head!”,

And his friend Max

Passed him an axe,

I found I was dreaming in bed!

Purely by Accident

When I accidentally entered a striptease bar

And got accosted by Pretty Miss Marr,

I said to Miss Coral,

“Are you girls quite moral?”,

As I returned that young lady’s bra …

Simulation

When I met a philosopher of this nation

Who said, “we’re all living in a simulation”.

I gave him a big kick

And whacked him with a stick,

Which was fine as we’re in a simulation!

The Joys of Being a Pig

There was a young lady named Pam

Who liked to gorge on boiled ham.

When they said, “you’re a pig!”,

She would chew on her wig

As she rolled in marmalade and jam!

Royal Mail

When a young lady wearing just socks

Jumped out from a red pillar box ,

And a postman named Marr

Said, “want to go far?”,

She said, “well, I’m wearing just socks …”.

 

Time for Bed

When a young lady dressed in red

Pulled me into a very large bed

I said to her, “Hop!

You and I should stop!

As the customers have turned bright red!”.

Banes and His Love of Drains

There once was a man named Banes

Who had a great obsession with drains.

Being small and  thin

He often fell in

Which caused Banes pains in those drains!