When I met a young lady wearing only high-heels
Who showed me her pond full of pet seals.
I played on my flute
Which she thought real cute.
And she danced in her heels with those seals.
A young lady who had just turned 16
Said, “I’ll go out on the clubbing scene”.
So she donned her mum’s dress.
But a club bouncer called Bess
Said, “sorry darling, but you still look 16!”.
A young lady whose conduct was truly licentious
Said, “my friends they all think me pretentious!
I have sheets of pure satin
And my cries are in latin.
And my lovers they all find me licentious!”.
When a man by the name of Paul
Said, “I have seen many an empire fall.
And I have a burning desire
For that inocent young lady Moriah”.
I said, “Moriah, she fell long ago Paul!”.
Last night I dreamed a strange dream
About strawberries and lashings of fresh cream.
All the young women
Said no to sinning.
But gave in to strawberries and cream.
—
Last night I dreamed a strange dream
About strawberries and lashings of fresh cream.
All the young women
Said no to sinning.
And the vicar fell into the cream!
A young lady whose name is Pat
Sent me a message using her WhatsApp.
She called me “sweet honey”,
And asked me for money.
And I’ve never seen a photograph like that!
If girls could read the mind
Of the average guy, I
Think you would find
Many a poor guy
With a black eye!
I asked the devil, “wherein lies sin?”.
She answered me, “sir, sin, ’tis within
Both thee and me.
Now, my dear boy
Don’t be so coy.
And just tell me,
What would you like me to be!”.
When a young lady riding a horse
Said, “you and I must quickly divorce!”.
I said, “my dear Yvette
We have only just met.
And I’m here to shoe this horse!”.
When a young man along with his spouse
Said, “I’ve come to shoot all your grouse,
In this fine old dining room ,
By the light of the moon.
I kicked them both out of my house!
K Morris - Poet 