When I saw my friend Major Jones
Firing his gun at some old bones,
And I said to him, “Sir,
Where is your dear wife Clair?”.
He pointed his gun at those bones.
When I Saw My Friend Major Jones
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Tag Archives: funny poem
My Old Friend, Whose Name Is Binder
My old friend, whose name is Binder
Has a job as a clock winder.
A young lady called White
Walks the streets at night.
Where she often meets my friend Binder.
Bishop Higgle
“What is sin?”,I asked Bishop Higgle.
And, as I did, a girl’s giggle
Came from his bedchamber.
And blonde Miss Granger
Did, so sweetly say,
“When the cat’s away
The mice will play!”.
Miss Alice
I know a young lady named Miss Alice
Who lives close to the great Crystal Palace.
She is often very bad
Which makes the priest sad.
And I’m off just now to see Alice.
There Once Was A Man Named Lyme
There once was a man named Lyme
Who, determined to conquer Old Father Time,
Covered up all the clocks
With his girlfriend’s new frocks.
And Old Father Time laughed at Lyme.
A Young Woman Wearing Bright Pink High-Heels
A young woman wearing bright pink high-heels
Went in to swim with the seals.
Being drunk on strong booze
She lost both her shoes.
Or so I’m told by those seals!
When A Beautiful But Dissolute Young Lady Named Ria
When a beautiful but dissolute young lady named Ria
Came round to mine and drank lots of beer,
A kindly old monk
Said, “you are drunk.
Let me help you to bed, young Miss Ria”.
When A Young Lady Dressed In Clear Plastic
When a young lady dressed in clear plastic
Said, “my morals they are really very elastic”.
I said, “its true
That mine stretch too.
And you are hot in that clear plastic!”.
When A Young Man On A Bar Stool
When a young man on a bar stool
Said, “you are a stupid old fool!”.
I said, “my good sir
You should take great care,
Lest you fall off that bar stool!”.
When a Daring Young Lady Named Ria
When a daring young lady named Ria
Decided to swing from my old chandelier,
The good Bishop Paul
Feared she would fall.
But she fell long ago, did Ria.
K Morris - Poet 