Tag Archives: funny poem

Ark

I awake to rain again.

Should I build an ark?

If I do the shark …

My thoughts grow far too dark …

 

A bear in my bed

Would keep me from sleep

For fear that it would eat  …

 

I have no dread of the pussycat,

But what of the mouse and rat …

For the poor pussycat

Must be fed …

 

I do like dogs

Yet fear they would gobble up frogs!

 

I imagine the crocodile’s smile

As he lies, just like a log

Waiting for some cat or unfortunate dog

To pass by …

 

On second thoughts, perhaps I

Should wait for the rain to stop

For I can not chop wood in rain …

Strawberries and Cream

When a young lady eating strawberries and cream

Went and told me about her weird dream,

I said to her, “Lee,

That seems strange to me!”

As she covered me in strawberries and cream!

Miss Bangs’s Fangs

I met a young lady named Bangs

Who showed me her pearly white fangs.

My girlfriend Miss Moriah

Claims she’s a vampire.

But she doesn’t have fangs like Bangs!

 

My Valentine’s Date

A gorgeous young lady known as Kate

Has invited me on a Valentine’s date.

Her pretty friend Lou

Will join us too.

I wonder, should I invite my mate …

flâneur

When I met a young lady named Flair

Who said, “sir, you are merely a flâneur!”

I said, “I observe the street

And many people I meet.

But Flair, tell me what is a flâneur !”

Andy the Dandy

My friend whose name is Andy

Has a reputation as a dandy.

He thought Miss Mandy hot

And offered her cheap chocolate.

But Mandy she preferred a shandy!

 

Marr’s Scandolous Memoir

I know a young lady named Marr

Who is writing a most scandalous memoir.

She has just turned 22

And has already been through

Countless ripped dresses and tonight’s torn bra …

The Vicar’s Daughter

When the vicar’s daughter named Miss Lee

Said, “life is merely a tragic comedy!”

And she danced quite nude,

Which the congregation found rude!

I made her a nice cup of tea!

The Lost Hat

When a young lady who visited my flat

Said, “I think I have lost my hat!”

And I said, “after that booze

You lost more than your shoes!”

She said, “just give me back my hat …!”

When Dracula Went to a Pub

When Count Dracula went to a pub

In search of some good wholesome grub,

A barmaid named Kelly

Offered him fruit jelly.

But he wanted another kind of grub …