Category Archives: poems

When A Naughty Young Lady Named Linda

When A naughty young lady named Linda
Said, “I shall find a date using Cinder,
They said, “do you mean the Tinder app?”,
She replied, “I need that kind of chap,
Who is handsome and hot as a cinder!”.

When A Young Lady of France

When a young lady of France
Said, “you men have no romance!”,
And I said, “come over here
And we’ll drink lots of beer!”,
She returned with speed to France!

When A Young Man of France

When a young man of France
Asked to see a lap dance
And they offered him overpriced, lukewarm champagne,
He said, “if its all the same,
I’d rather just see a lap dance!”.

When The Vicar’s Daughter Lost Her Frock

When the vicar’s daughter lost her frock
The whole parish received a great shock,
But ’twas found in my house
By the good vicar’s noble spouse,
Whilst drunk on the bishop’s fine hock!

I Know A Young Lady Named Beth

I know a young lady named Beth
Who refuses to pause for breath.
On meeting The dreaded Grim Reaper
On the London to Glasgow sleeper,
She bored the poor Reaper to death

In The Chaos Of Our Dreams

In the chaos
Of our dreams
We experience a loss
Of the control
That we, in waking hours maintain
And the oh so fragile pane,
Shatters, revealing our soul.
‘Tis good that none but we
Can see
How our consciousness streams,
Out of control, in dreams.