I met a beautiful young perfumer
Who had no sense of humour.
They say I spent
My money on scent.
But that’s just a wicked rumour!
The Perfumer
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Category Archives: creative writing
Miss Wood and the Mud
When a careless young lady named Wood
Got her stilettos stuck in deep mud
And I said, “get them off”.
She replied, with a shocked cough,
“Not here! In this nasty deep mud!”
Lou’s Footwear
When a young lady named Miss Lou
Threatened to spank me with her shoe
I said, “I really don’t care
What you do with your footwear,
But you’re exciting the old vicar Lou!”
The Vicious Old Goat
I met a vicious looking old goat
Who was dressed in a frock coat.
He said, “I will be level.
I am the wicked old devil!”.
So I skinned and ate that goat!
Rent Money
When a young lady who comes from Kent
Said, “sir, I can not pay my rent.
Lets have a quick affair!”.
I said to her, “Clair,
That’s great, but I’m not paying your rent!”
Bell
A young lady whose name is Bell
Has a reputation in a certain hotel,
Where she and Miss White
Provide their company at night.
And something more I have heard tell …
Miss Nell’s Hotel
A pious old lady named Miss Nell
Said, “I know of a most seedy hotel
Where fallen girls galore
Break God’s sacred law!”
But she refused to name that hotel …
—
A naughty young lady known as Nell
Frequents a most infamous and rundown hotel.
A policeman called Paul
Said, “all men fall”,
As he sat drinking tea with Nell …
Lou Who Composed a Poem to Her Shoe
There was a young lady named Lou
Who composed a poem to her shoe.
She took great care
Of her favourite footwear,
As all well bred young ladies do!
Tied Up
A naughty young lady named Miss Lou
Tied me up at just gone 2.
At just after 4
I said,, “no more!”,
But Miss Moore she joined in too!”.
If We Had Met, Other Than We Did
If we had met,
Other than we did
Perchance the fast dance
Would end in friend.
But you had
Your need
To feed.
And I was glad
For I had
My loneliness and lust
To lose
For a while
In a girl’s smile.
But dust
I can not escape
In the loss
Of high-heel shoe
And girl’s short cape
K Morris - Poet 