Monthly Archives: March 2021

MI5

A young lady who did earnestly strive
To be watched by Great Britain’s MI5,
Climbed a very high tower
Wearing naught but a flower,
Whilst watched by a guy from MI5!

Whisky and Gin

A gorgeous young lady named Lin
Plied me with whisky and gin.
Then, along with Miss Rose
We took off our clothes ..
I blame the whisky and gin!

The Movies

A young lady whose name is Lou
Makes her money from movies most blue.
But she’s not as shocking
As that naughty Miss Hocking.
And I really must return Lou’s shoe!

There Once Was a Young Man of Calcutta

There once was a young man of Calcutta
Who lay drunk in that fine city’s gutter.
A stray dog walking by
Said, with a great sigh,
“Do you know that is my favourite gutter?”.

There Once Was a Girl From Bombay

There once was a girl from Bombay
Who said, “the men they never stay”.
A man from Ealing
Danced on her ceiling.
So they threw him out of Bombay!

Sinful Rose

A most sinful young lady named Rose
Is well known for stealing men’s clothes.
I must return a stocking
To that forgetful Miss Hocking.
But I can’t leave wearing no clothes!

The Rise and Fall of the Cassette Tape

I recall, as a teenager, recording plays and other things onto cassette tape. I also recollect that sinking feeling when the cassette tape became horribly tangled (those c120 tapes where amongst the worst offenders, at least in my memory).

Besides recording, I also built up (and still retain) a large library of spoken word cassettes, ranging from Stevenson’s Kidnapped through to The Turn of the Screw and When Eight Bells Toll.

Despite my memories of cassettes becoming mangled, I still have great affection for the technology, which perhaps explains why I still retain those spoken word cassettes from my childhood and teenage years.

I therefore confess to having given in to a certain amount of nostalgia as I listened to an item on BBC Radio 4’s Front Row about the rise and fall of the cassette tape, https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m000sz98. The item is about 10 minutes in length and can be found at the start of the podcast.

My Nigerian Girlfriend

I’m dating a girl from Nigeria
Whose tastes are so very superior.
She has this thing
For an expensive ring.
So I’m off now to Siberia!

Miss Kath’s Bath

When I found my friend Miss Kath
Taking a hot and very bubbly bath.
I took a look
For my prize duck.
But all I found was Miss Kath!