Tag Archives: nonsense verse

Miss Grubb’s Bathtub

There was a young lady named Grub
Who, being fond of her old bathtub
Bathed in a public place,
Which was a real disgrace!
Though it was a rather fine bathtub …

I Awoke With The Beautiful Miss Spink

I awoke with the beautiful Miss Spink
Who gave me a very sly wink.
I said, “my dear
How came you here?
And where is your nightdress Miss Spink!”

Rose’s Spotless Reputation

When a young lady said, with indignation,
“You men all malign my spotless reputation!”.
I said, “my dear Rose
Please pass me my clothes.
And what was that about your reputation?”.

There Once Was A Girl Of Peru

There once was a forgetful girl of Peru
Who was famous for losing her right shoe.
One hot day in May
They found it in Bombay –
Which was strange, as she never left Peru!

Not Guilty!

They say that the gorgeous Miss White
Came round to mine late last night.
Now my true love Miss Lou
Is beating me black and blue.
But ‘twas Miss Right, not Miss White!

The Squire’s Fire

There once was a kindly old squire
Who was famous for his fine fire.
His old wife Jane
Always liked to complain.
And the young housemaid stoked the fire …

Nell Who Out of a High Window Fell

When a young lady named Nell
Out of a high window fell,
She landed on Dan
(A most handsome man).
I’ve already said that Nell fell …

When the Talented and Beautiful Miss Steed

When the talented and beautiful Miss Steed
Asked me to fulfil her great need,
Of course I stayed
And together we played –
On that fine old piano of Steed!

Humorous Tuesday

I know a young lady named Louise
Who keeps a hive full of bees.
They live in her house
With her long-suffering old spouse.
And their dog is full of fleas!

When I met a young lady in heels
Who spoke to me of late night deals,
I said, “dear Miss White
I don’t have time tonight.
Besides, I am not that fond of eels!”.

My Exclusive Club

On entering my highly select gentleman’s club
I was greeted by pretty Miss Grubb.
We discussed the weather
With gorgeous Miss Heather –
The food there is really quite good …