Tag Archives: nonsense verse

The Naughty Nymph

I’ve just met a very naughty nymph

Who winked at me from a plinth.

Her name is Miss Follett

And she has my wallet!

Dear reader! Have you seen that nymph!

Gwen and her Pen

There once was a student named Gwen

Who was fond of throwing her pen.

A teacher called Lou

Said, “that won’t do!”,

And threw that pen back at Gwen!

Lost Shoes

A young lady who is fond of booze

Lost her stiletto shoes in the river Ouse.

Now a naughty nun

Wears them for fun –

We met on a round the world cruise!

Perm

I met a man with a perm

Who called me a worthless worm.

I grabbed sharp sheers

And despite his tears

I cut off that worthless perm!

Matt’s Cat

When a young man known as Matt

Went and bought a very large cat,

An elderly person called Brian

Yelled something about a lion!

And that was the end of that!

Whilst Engrossed in Wuthering Heights

Whilst engrossed in Wuthering Heights

I saw a young lady in tights.

I said to her, “Rose!

You are wearing no clothes!”,

She said, “no! I am wearing some tights!”

 

Ron and the Scone

There once was a man named Ron

Who liked to go on and on!

A girl called Lin

Said, “forgive my sin!”,

As she brained Ron with a scone!

 

(The word “scone” is often pronounced as “scon” depending on which part of the UK one comes from).

Whilst Walking Through a very Dark Park

Whilst walking through a very dark park

I met with a vampire named Mark.

When I began to pray

He said, “it’s a play!”,

But the werewolves howled in that park …!

Voltaire

As I walked through Trafalgar Square

I met the ghost of Voltaire.

I said, “are you Candide?”.

He said, “no sir! Indeed!

I am Voltaire! haunting Trafalgar Square!”

The Clever Cow

I once met a clever cow

Who said, “I don’t know how

All of my milk

Is smooth as silk!”,

I said, “wow! A talking cow!”