I’ve just met a very naughty nymph
Who winked at me from a plinth.
Her name is Miss Follett
And she has my wallet!
Dear reader! Have you seen that nymph!
I’ve just met a very naughty nymph
Who winked at me from a plinth.
Her name is Miss Follett
And she has my wallet!
Dear reader! Have you seen that nymph!
There once was a student named Gwen
Who was fond of throwing her pen.
A teacher called Lou
Said, “that won’t do!”,
And threw that pen back at Gwen!
A young lady who is fond of booze
Lost her stiletto shoes in the river Ouse.
Now a naughty nun
Wears them for fun –
We met on a round the world cruise!
I met a man with a perm
Who called me a worthless worm.
I grabbed sharp sheers
And despite his tears
I cut off that worthless perm!
When a young man known as Matt
Went and bought a very large cat,
An elderly person called Brian
Yelled something about a lion!
And that was the end of that!
Whilst engrossed in Wuthering Heights
I saw a young lady in tights.
I said to her, “Rose!
You are wearing no clothes!”,
She said, “no! I am wearing some tights!”
There once was a man named Ron
Who liked to go on and on!
A girl called Lin
Said, “forgive my sin!”,
As she brained Ron with a scone!
(The word “scone” is often pronounced as “scon” depending on which part of the UK one comes from).
Whilst walking through a very dark park
I met with a vampire named Mark.
When I began to pray
He said, “it’s a play!”,
But the werewolves howled in that park …!
As I walked through Trafalgar Square
I met the ghost of Voltaire.
I said, “are you Candide?”.
He said, “no sir! Indeed!
I am Voltaire! haunting Trafalgar Square!”
I once met a clever cow
Who said, “I don’t know how
All of my milk
Is smooth as silk!”,
I said, “wow! A talking cow!”