I know an extremely pretty young barmaid
And many a game we have played.
When I say to her, “Bess,
Shall we play draughts or chess?”,
She winks at me does that barmaid …!
Draughts or Chess
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Tag Archives: nonsense verse
Heaven
When a beautiful young lady said, “Kevin,
At seven I’ll send you to heaven!”.
I said to her, “darling Heather,
I look forward to the pleasure!”,
Then she produced a pistol at seven!
Out Shooting Grouse
When I met a gentleman out shooting grouse
Who said, “sir, have you seen my spouse?”.
And I said, “I’ve seen Moriah
In a haystack with the squire!”,
He said, “I’ll shoot more than those grouse!”
My Mother in Law
When a plucky young man known as Moore
Went and insulted my mother in law,
And my wife Mrs White
Said, “challenge him to a fight!”,
I said, “but she is a terrible bore!”
When an Extremely Pushy Young Lady of Malaysia
When an extremely pushy young lady of Malaysia
Demanded that we all go and praise her,
A man from Liverpool
Called her a fool,
And got praised by the people of Malaysia!
Barking Up the Wrong Tree
When my dog friend said to me,
“You are barking up the wrong tree!”,
I said to him, “Mark,
I am unable to bark!
And you can not climb that tree!”
A Young Lady of Malta
I know a young lady of Malta
And no-one is able to fault her.
But back at mine
She crosses a line –
But nobody knows that in Malta …!
The Naughty Nymph
I’ve just met a very naughty nymph
Who winked at me from a plinth.
Her name is Miss Follett
And she has my wallet!
Dear reader! Have you seen that nymph!
Gwen and her Pen
There once was a student named Gwen
Who was fond of throwing her pen.
A teacher called Lou
Said, “that won’t do!”,
And threw that pen back at Gwen!
Lost Shoes
A young lady who is fond of booze
Lost her stiletto shoes in the river Ouse.
Now a naughty nun
Wears them for fun –
We met on a round the world cruise!
K Morris - Poet 