Tag Archives: nonsense verse

Feisty Miss White

When a pretty young lady named White

Said, “I will turn out the light”.

And I said, “then get into bed?”,

She smacked me hard on the head.

Those nurses can get feisty at night!

 

Those nurses they

Terrible Old Bore

When a rude young man named Moore

Said, “you are a terrible old bore!”.

I gave him a smile

And then, with great style,

I kicked Moore out of the door!

Too Much Partying!

When I met a young lady in Soho

Who told me her name it was Flow,

I bought her and Jane

Lots of overpriced fake champagne

And awoke with a bloke in old Soho!

The Vicar’s Sermon

When the noble and erudite vicar Winning

Gave a fine sermon condemning all sinning,

Rose and Miss Spink

Gave him a wink.

And the congregation all fell about grinning!

Grace the Magician

A magician who is known as Grace

Has made many men vanish without trace.

There’s a magic spade

And a secluded glade.

And the police are looking for Grace …

When a Young Lady Wearing 1 Spectacle

When a young lady wearing 1 spectacle

Said, “Kevin, tell me, are you respectable?”,

I said to her, “Ria,

I have been called insincere.

But I have never been called respectable!”

Tea Anyone?

When a young man using Chat GPT

Asked it to make him some tea,

It wrote about Ceylon

And hallucinated about Ron.

But he still hasn’t got his tea!

 

When I Met the Poet Milton

When I met the poet Milton

In the supermarket shopping for Stilton,

And I spoke of “Paradise Lost”,

He said, “have you seen the cost

Of all these cheeses, especially this Stilton!”

Pink Socks

When a young lady wearing pink socks

Walked into a shop full of clocks,

The shop owner named Lyme

Said, “it is high time

That you wore something with those socks!”.

The Joys of Cheese

When an elderly gentleman named Mr Foster

Choked on some cheese whilst in Gloucester.

A doctor called Louise

Said, “he liked cheese!

And he died whilst eating Double Gloucester!”