When I found a young lady in red
On the floor by my fine old bed,
And I said, “my dear,
How did you get here!”,
She said, “I fell out of your bed!”.
When I found a young lady in red
On the floor by my fine old bed,
And I said, “my dear,
How did you get here!”,
She said, “I fell out of your bed!”.
When a young lady known as Claire
Said, “I’d like to call you sir”.
I said to Miss Jane,
“Its you with the cane!
I think Claire should call you sir!”.
I know a young man named Keith
Who is known as a prodigious thief.
His pretty wife Lin
Is full of sin.
But I’m not that fond of Keith …
I awoke on an island with seals
And spied a young lady in heels.
When I said, “my dear,
How did we get here!”,
She said, “we got kidnapped by seals!”.
My dear friend the beautiful Miss Lee
Has won prizes for her erotic poetry.
She came round last night
With a girl called white
And we played at cards till 3.
I know a young lady named Sun
Who is always up for some fun.
Her and Miss Claire
Work in the fair,
And from their boyfriends I must run!
I know a most delightful old squire
Who has never been seen with Moriah.
She wears a short dress
And I have to confess
That she looks rather like the squire!
I know a young poet named Lee
Who says, “my poetry will outlast me!”.
I regret his verse
Grows steadily worse
So they pay him to teach poetry!
When a pretty young lady known as Lou
Said, “I will see you both at 2”,
My girlfriend Jane
Really did complain
As she has this thing for Miss Sue …!
A young lady who works as a perfumer
Said, “you have absolutely no sense of humour!”.
As I stamped on her toes
I said, “my dear Miss Rose,
Don’t you wish you had met me sooner!”.