Tag Archives: nonsense verse

There Once Was a Poet Named Hind

There once was a poet named Hind

Who said, “the best is all behind!

My once great verse

It grows steadily worse!

And the critics all kick my behind!”.

Youthful Passion

Their youthful passion unlocks.

She loses shoes and frock.

Then the vicar knocks …!

Miss Ice

A young lady known as Miss Ice

Has a reputation for not being nice.

Her real name is Coral

And she’s so very immoral!

But to me she’s always been nice …!

Shy Guy

I met a group of young women

Who spoke of the joys of sinning.

But I, being shy

Hid in a pie

With the beautiful and talented Miss Winning!

A Young Lady of Kampala

When I met a young lady of Kampala

Who said, “I worked in a massage parlour”.

And I said, “but Coral!

You are so very moral!”.

She said, “they sacked me from that parlour …!”

Bad Poetry

When a rude and unfeeling young lad

Said, “your poems are so very bad!”.

I wept full sore

And said, “tell me more!”,

As I soundly thrashed that lad!

The Dangers of Catching a Cold

When Rose took all her clothes off

The dear old vicar began to cough.

The weather being cold

Rose was most bold!

And the vicar he developed a cough …!

 

Dave Who Shaved on a Grave

When a young man named Dave

Decided to shave on a grave,

And a ghastly ghoul

Called him a fool,

He gave that knave a shave!

When Kafka Went and Wrote the Trial

When Kafka went and wrote The Trial

They said, “there can be no denial

That this book is strange

And the characters quite deranged!

And this novel is called The Trial!”.

When a Young Lady Said, “Lets Pretend!”

As we drove fast round a very tight bend

A young lady said, “lets pretend I’m your girlfriend!”.

I said, “in this sports car

You and I will go far!”,

She said, “remember that this is only pretend!”