I once met a very large alligator
Who asked could he borrow my calculator.
I said to him, “mate
Please go and eat Kate.
She’ll taste much nicer than my calculator!”.
The Alligator and My Calculator
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Tag Archives: nonsense verse
A Young Lady Who is Really Nice
A young lady who is really nice
Is known for her love of spice.
Her name is Miss Lott
And she likes it hot.
And she also likes curry and rice!
The Importance of Hope!
There once was a man named Hope
Who jumped out of a large envelope.
He gave a great shout,
Which caused quite a rout!
Then returned by post to Good Hope!
When a Wicked Old Rake Known as Winning
When a wicked old rake known as Winning
Said, “I’ve lost count of all the women
I have taken to bed”.
A young lady in red, said,
“With me you will not be winning, Winning!”.
Do that Again
When a beautiful young lady named Gwen
Said, “please go and do that again!”,
A writer called White
Smiled with great delight,
As again, he reached for his pen.
There Once Was a Slug From Slough
There once was a slug from Slough
Who said, “I really don’t know how
This lettuce tastes so good!
I wish that I could
Spend my days eating lettuce in Slough!”
The Importance of Being Inclusive
When a young lady who is very inclusive
Said, “our love it will not be exclusive”.
And I said to Coral,
“Is that girl really moral?”,
She said, “no! but she is very inclusive!”
Long Since Dead
I met an old man named Fred
Who said, “I am long since dead”.
I offered him toast
But, being a ghost,
He screamed and took off his head!
The Coming Halloween
Soon it will be Halloween.
I will hide behind gravestones
For a laugh. Jumping out as you pass.
But should cold old bones
Find me on Halloween, I will loudly scream!
My Strict Headmaster
I once had a very strict headmaster
Who said, “boy! You are a total disaster!”.
I said to him, “sir,
You must take great care!”,
As I drove his car much faster!
K Morris - Poet 