Alexa says it won’t rain today.
I put my coat on anyway.
Sure enough, it rains again.
Should I maintain
My faith in the reliability
Of modern technology?
No, today I shall pray
To the god of rain
And silently blast
The weather forecast!
When a beautiful young lady named Gwen
Said, “please go and do that again!”,
A writer called White
Smiled with great delight,
As again, he reached for his pen.
There once was a slug from Slough
Who said, “I really don’t know how
This lettuce tastes so good!
I wish that I could
Spend my days eating lettuce in Slough!”
When a married young lady in my bathtub
Said, “can we go to a sex club!”.
I said, “Mrs Hocking!
Your suggestion is shocking!
But I hear the food there is good …”
A young lady of Great Britain
Says she’s my little sex kitten.
Her big boyfriend Dan
Has a lethal plan
So I’m packing and leaving Britain!
When a morbid young man named Round
Said, “we end in the cold ground”,
We said, “don’t be sad.
We’ll make you feel glad!”.
And we spun Round round and round!
My friend, who lacks any kind of discretion
Has an obsession with the world’s oldest profession.
At just gone midnight
I met Miss White
Who said, “your friend he lacks any discretion …!”
A most talented young lady known as Rose
As a habit of showing gentlemen her toes.
When they say, “give us more!”,
She says, “its such a bore!”,
As she blows her nose on those toes!
When I saw the good vicar Randy
Drinking brandy with that gorgeous Miss Mandy,
I said to him, “Jim,
She is pretty and slim”.
He said, “yes, but I am Randy!”.
There once was a man named Laker
Who got a job as an undertaker.
When a ghoul appeared
He said, “that’s weird!
Its such fun working as an undertaker!”
K Morris - Poet 