As I loitered in a dark alley
I got arrested by police constable Sally.
I was buying fine art
From a girl called Heart –
But the jury believed police constable Sally …!
As I loitered in a dark alley
I got arrested by police constable Sally.
I was buying fine art
From a girl called Heart –
But the jury believed police constable Sally …!
I met a young man named Guy
Who works in the field of AI.
His programme writes verse
Which grows steadily worse.
But some say its written by Guy!
I met a young lady named Rose
Who said, “I am fond of crows.
I left my perfume
In this changing room.”
I said, “it’s here with your clothes …!”.
When a young lady named Henrietta
Sent me a poisoned pen letter,
I said to Miss Gale,
“Hasn’t she heard of email?
Its much quicker than a letter!”.
There was a young lady named Gale
Who swung from the pub’s curtain rail.
When they said, “you are strange!”.
She said, “in yonder old grange,
We all swing and drink strong ale!”.
When a young man eating a trifle
Got shot by an old-fashioned rifle,
A policeman named Ted
Said, “he is dead!
Which is serious, and no mere trifle!””.
When a pretty young lady named May
Knocked on my door on Valentines Day,
And my dear old wife Claire
Screamed, “are you having an affair!”,
I turned to my sweet mistress Fay …
When a young lady brandishing a cucumber
Awakened me from my very deep slumber,
And I said, “Mis Parrot,
Do you fancy a carrot?”.
She said, “no, I’m brandishing this cucumber!”.
A most forgetful young lady named Lou
Has a habit of losing a shoe.
My dear old wife
Is waving a knife,
And my dog he’s found Lou’s shoe …
A young lady named Ling
Likes to dance and sing.
In the depths of the dark
The dogs howl and bark
And neighbours throw things at Ling!