When a young lady named Henrietta
Sent me a poisoned pen letter,
I said to Miss Gale,
“Hasn’t she heard of email?
Its much quicker than a letter!”.
The Poisoned Pen
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Tag Archives: laughter
Gale and the Curtain Rail
There was a young lady named Gale
Who swung from the pub’s curtain rail.
When they said, “you are strange!”.
She said, “in yonder old grange,
We all swing and drink strong ale!”.
When a Young Man Eating a Trifle
When a young man eating a trifle
Got shot by an old-fashioned rifle,
A policeman named Ted
Said, “he is dead!
Which is serious, and no mere trifle!””.
When a Pretty Young Lady Named May
When a pretty young lady named May
Knocked on my door on Valentines Day,
And my dear old wife Claire
Screamed, “are you having an affair!”,
I turned to my sweet mistress Fay …
When a Young Lady Brandishing a Cucumber
When a young lady brandishing a cucumber
Awakened me from my very deep slumber,
And I said, “Mis Parrot,
Do you fancy a carrot?”.
She said, “no, I’m brandishing this cucumber!”.
A Most Forgetful Young Lady Named Lou
A most forgetful young lady named Lou
Has a habit of losing a shoe.
My dear old wife
Is waving a knife,
And my dog he’s found Lou’s shoe …
Ling Who Likes to Dance and Sing
A young lady named Ling
Likes to dance and sing.
In the depths of the dark
The dogs howl and bark
And neighbours throw things at Ling!
I’ve Just Met a Very Old Monk
I’ve just met a very old monk
Who stood in the pub getting drunk.
He said, “sweet barmaid Claire
Let us have an affair!”.
Have you seen a black eyed monk …?
Lord Kettle
My great friend the late Lord Kettle
Said, “I am quite unable to settle”.
Then he made some tea,
Which he shared with me,
In a place that’s known as Settle.
Procrastination
When a young lady named Kate
Said, “Kevin, you really do procrastinate!”.
I said, “I beg your pardon!
But I am doing this garden!
But perhaps the garden can wait …!”.
K Morris - Poet 