When a waiter by the name of Kipp
Said, “sir, do remember to give a tip!”.
I said, “I’m reliably told
That a horse called Gold
Is a certainty at Newmarket this afternoon Kipp!”
The Importance of Tipping
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Tag Archives: humour
Whilst Sitting in My Most Favourite Bar
Whilst sitting in my most favourite bar
I met a young lady named Marr.
Being both willing and able
She danced on my table.
But the vicar he went too far!
When a Young Lady Serving Curry and Rice
When a young lady serving curry and rice
Said, “this establishment is no place for vice!”.
Her friend Miss Hocking
Searched for a stocking.
And the spice it was really quite nice!
Awaking in a Pool Full of Seals
Awaking in a pool full of seals
I saw a young lady in heels.
When I said, “am I drunk!”,
She replied, “as a holy monk,
You should avoid pools full of seals!”
Whilst Walking Through Thunder and Heavy Rain
Whilst walking through thunder and heavy rain
I met a young lady named Jane
Who said, “oh kindly fella
Do lend me your umbrella!”.
That Jane she must be perfectly insane!
Miss White and the Gentleman’s Club
A young lady known as Miss White
Lost her stockings and dress last night
In an exclusive club
Called the Gentleman’s Rub.
And I did write all last night …
The Crocodile
Whilst swimming in the great river Nile
I met with a hungry old crocodile.
When he opened his jaws wide
I slipped a big bell inside.
Now he chimes, which makes people smile!
When a Young Lady Wearing Fashionable Shoes
When a young lady wearing fashionable shoes
Got drunk on some very strong booze,
They said to her, “dear Rose,
May we suggest that some clothes
Would go well with those fashionable shoes!”
There Once Was a Rake Named Howe
There once was a rake named Howe
Who liked to dress as a cow.
He tempted young farming women
Into all kinds of sinning.
So the farmers they skinned that cow!
Going to Hell in a Handcart
A most dissolute young lady named Miss Heart
Said, “we’re going to hell in a handcart!”.
But the road being bumpy
And the Devil’s custard lumpy,
I said, “me and this handcart must part!”
K Morris - Poet 