Tag Archives: humour

When I Attended a Large Swingers Convention

When I attended a large swingers convention
I sensed a good deal of tension.
My friend bishop Hocking
Stole the vicar’s stocking,
But the rest I’d better not mention …!

There Once Was a Vampire Named Keith

There once was a vampire named Keith
Who, on losing some of his teeth,
Visited a dentist called Lake,
Who used a great stake,
Which ended both Keith and his teeth!

Claire’s Improper Suggestion

When a young lady named Claire
Said, “lets all have an affair!”,
I said to Miss Hocking,
“That is really quite shocking!”.
But Hocking was busy with Claire!

Whilst Playing on My Most Favourite Banister

Whilst playing on my most favourite banister
I got intrigued by a talking canister.
When the clever thing spoke
And told me a joke,
I almost fell off poor Miss Banister!

When a Most Obliging Young Lady Named Ria

When a most obliging young lady named Ria
Said, “I’ll do anything you like my dear!”,
And I said to Rose,
“Please, take off your clothes”,
She said, “my dear, my name isn’t Ria!”.

I Know a Young Lady Named Grub

I know a young lady named Grub
Who works in a working men’s club.
Being a very good lass
She ignored my crude pass
And she’s known for her good grub!

Moriah and the Squire

There was a young lady named Moriah
Who desired to burn the old squire.
The helpful vicar Hatch
Passed her a match,
And the squire he divorced young Moriah!

When I Met a Man at His Mowing

When I met a man at his mowing
And said to him, “how is it going?”,
He said to me, “oh no!
I’ve just cut off my toe!”,
I said, “but how is your mowing going?”

There Once Was a Man of Settle

There once was a man of Settle
Who fell into a large boiling kettle.
When they said, “is it hot!”,
He said, “pass me that teapot!
I just can’t settle in this kettle!

Naughty Miss Brown

When a naughty young lady named Miss Brown
Said, “the judge he will send us down!”,
I said, “what we done
We done it in fun!
And right in the middle of the town …!”