When I met an adventurous young lady named Mabel
Who said, “do you want me on this table?”,
I said, “I’ve met many young women
Who spend all their lives in sinning,
And, my dear Mabel, that table is very unstable!”
There once was a person named Dan
Who was known as a moral man.
His young mistress Flair
Enjoyed many an affair,
But Dan was a most moral man!
As I sat counting all my money
I was accosted by gorgeous Miss Honey.
She is in the habit
Of behaving like a rabbit,
So I call her my Easter Bunny!
There once was a young man named Power
Who liked to jump in his family’s shower.
Being really quite posh
He sometimes would wash,
But mostly he just jumped in the shower!
There once was a young man named Lyme
Who said, “my clock it refuses to chime!”.
The great Professor Ridge
Said, “it’s a fridge!
And fridges they are not known to chime!”
I know a young lady named Ann
Who likes to date the older man.
My good friend Miss Claire
Says I have grey hair.
And Ann, she likes the older man …
There is a gorgeous young perfumer
Who has started a wicked rumour,
About me and her
And naughty Miss Claire.
How sad its just a rumour …
There once was a very precocious housefly
Who said, “all men must surely die”.
A man named Ray
Aimed the fly spray,
And wept as he sprayed that housefly!
When a young man whose name is Cook
Said, “please will you look at my book?”,
An old lady called Yvette
Said, “its not written yet!”.
So I haven’t yet looked at Cook’s book!
When my beautiful young mistress Miss White
Said, “if I should die this night …”.
I said, “you want me to know
That you have always loved me so!”.
She said, “no, its not quite that
Please, take care of my old cat”.
I said, “oh! but he scratches so!”
K Morris - Poet 