Tag Archives: humour

Politics or Pleasure

I met a young lady named Ling

Who said, “are you left-wing or right-wing?”.

I said, “politics are so boring

And will have us both snoring!

Now Ling, do you fancy a fling!”

My Homicidal AI

When I said,

To my Alexa AI,

“Am I dead?”,

She made quick reply,

“I hope so!”.

I really don’t know

But maybe I

Possess a homicidal AI!

 

(Note: sometimes I ask my Alexa random questions for the fun of doing so. The above poem stems from a genuine answer provided by Alexa to the question, “Am I dead?”.

Alexa has given the same response to the above question over several weeks. Should I be concerned …

 

The Poetry Teacher

I know a young poet named Lee

Who says, “my poetry will outlast me!”.

I regret his verse

Grows steadily worse

So they pay him to teach poetry!

A Lover’s Tiff

When a pretty young lady known as Lou

Said, “I will see you both at 2”,

My girlfriend Jane

Really did complain

As she has this thing for Miss Sue …!

 

The Importance of Humour

A young lady who works as a perfumer

Said, “you have absolutely no sense of humour!”.

As I stamped on her toes

I said, “my dear Miss Rose,

Don’t you wish you had met me sooner!”.

 

A Girl’s Lost Clothes

A young lady wearing only her bra

Came to drink in my favourite bar.

She said her heels

Got stolen by seals

And her dress was in my car!

There Once Was an Old Man Named Hogg

There once was an old man named Hogg

Who said, “I’ve been flogged by a dog!”.

They said to him, “sir,

You should take more care!

And you really should stay off that grog!”.

 

Getting the Blame

When a young lady whose known as Nat

Went and left her perfume in my flat,

My sweet girlfriend Leigh

Began to berate me!

But it wasn’t me, it was that Nat!

Anaconda

I’m dating a young lady named Ronda

Who is extremely fond of her anaconda.

When I say to her, “dear,

We will get married next year”,

She says, “I’m fonder of my anaconda!”.

Strawberry Ice

When a young lady eating Strawberry Ice

Said, “there can  be absolutely no vice!”.

They said, “Claire,

Steady on there!

And wear something with that Strawberry Ice!”.