Tag Archives: humour

Haughty Kath

When a haughty young lady named Kath

Demanded that I run her a bath,

And I said, “do it yourself!”

She said, “but I’m an elf!”. ,

I said, “go magic your own bath!”

A Most Respectable Gentleman of the Church

A most respectable gentleman of the church

Would like to bring back the birch.

His friend Miss Wood

Believes that is good,

And likes to give him the birch!

Eliot’s Handstand

When I saw Eliot doing a handstand

I asked him to explain the Wasteland.

He said, “my poem is complex

And many people it has vexed!”.

I said, “yes! That I can understand!”

Ron the Poet

There once was a poet named Ron

Who said, “poetry is for everyone!”,

But when he wrote on a bus

The driver created such a fuss!

As he didn’t like poetry or Ron!

Miss Rusty

When a young lady known as Rusty

Said, “you Sir are old and crusty!”.

I said to her, “Miss,

Some girls bring great bliss.

But you Miss are so very rusty!”

Jeff the Chef

There once was a Labrador called Jeff

Who took a job as a chef.

He ate all the food

And was thought very rude,

But he loved his job did Jeff!

Foolish Mark

When a foolish young man known as Mark

Went for a walk in a haunted park,

A kindly old ghoul

Said, “you’re a fool!

But I’ll let you off this once Mark!”

There Once Was a Lady of Settle

There once was a lady of Settle

Who went and stood on a nettle.

She said such bad words

That it frightened the birds,

And shocked the good people of Settle!

A Ghoul in the School Swimming Pool

There once was a ghastly ghoul

Who haunted a school swimming pool.

When the headmistress Jane

Gave him the cane

He yelled and left that pool!

There Once Was a Vampire in Brighton

There once was a vampire in Brighton

Who liked all the people to frighten,

Until a waitress called Lake

Offered him a big steak,

Which frightened that vampire out of Brighton!