I know a young lady of Toulouse
Who is extremely fond of her booze.
Whilst drunk on Hock
She lost her frock,
And a monk he stole her shoes!
A Young Lady of Toulouse
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Tag Archives: humorous verse
Dogs and Ponds
My dog of whom I am extremely fond
Has a habit of jumping in the pond.
Then he gets a certain smell
Which I know all too well,
And of which I am not that fond!
(A couple of days ago I took my guide dog Apollo for a walk in Crystal Palace park with my friend and his Rhodesian Ridgeback. Being a Labrador Retriever, Apollo decided that it would be tremendous fun to go swimming in a pond, twice!)
The Bishop’s Ceiling
When a naked young lady from Ealing
Went and swung from the bishop’s ceiling,
A spinster called Hocking
Found it most shocking!
And the bishop gazed at the ceiling!
Haughty Kath
When a haughty young lady named Kath
Demanded that I run her a bath,
And I said, “do it yourself!”
She said, “but I’m an elf!”. ,
I said, “go magic your own bath!”
A Most Respectable Gentleman of the Church
A most respectable gentleman of the church
Would like to bring back the birch.
His friend Miss Wood
Believes that is good,
And likes to give him the birch!
Eliot’s Handstand
When I saw Eliot doing a handstand
I asked him to explain the Wasteland.
He said, “my poem is complex
And many people it has vexed!”.
I said, “yes! That I can understand!”
Ron the Poet
There once was a poet named Ron
Who said, “poetry is for everyone!”,
But when he wrote on a bus
The driver created such a fuss!
As he didn’t like poetry or Ron!
Miss Rusty
When a young lady known as Rusty
Said, “you Sir are old and crusty!”.
I said to her, “Miss,
Some girls bring great bliss.
But you Miss are so very rusty!”
Jeff the Chef
There once was a Labrador called Jeff
Who took a job as a chef.
He ate all the food
And was thought very rude,
But he loved his job did Jeff!
Foolish Mark
When a foolish young man known as Mark
Went for a walk in a haunted park,
A kindly old ghoul
Said, “you’re a fool!
But I’ll let you off this once Mark!”
K Morris - Poet 