When I joined a website called Virgin Dating
The ad said, “its time to stop waiting!”.
I have had many a date
With a young lady named Kate.
And, my dear readers, I am still waiting …
My Dating Experience
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Tag Archives: humorous verse
My New Girlfriend’s Shoes
Whilst drunk on very cheap booze
I borrowed my new girlfriend’s shoes.
I walked all around
This familiar old town.
And lost my girlfriend and shoes!
Izzy
I know a gorgeous lady named Izzy
Who, on account of being incredibly busy
Sent her rather plain cousin Kate
To meet me for a date.
But I had arranged to see Izzy!
Paul the Anarchist
There once was an anarchist named Paul
Who said, “all governments they must fall!”.
So he huffed and he puffed,
And he wrote lots of stuff.
And governments took no notice of Paul.
—
There once was an anarchist named Paul
Who said, “all governments they must fall!”.
So he huffed and he puffed,
Until governments said, “that’s enough!
You have bored us into submission, Paul!”.
When A Young Lady Named Miss Doyle
When a young lady named Miss Doyle
Said, “have you seen my massage oil?”.
I said, “your behaviour is truly shocking!
I can hear the good vicar knocking!
Ah, that’s why you want the oil!”.
When An Elderly Spinster Named Jean
When an elderly spinster named Jean
Called me a wicked old libertine.
My new friend Miss Hocking
Said, “I’ve lost my stocking.
And Jean, what is a libertine?”.
Hot Buttered Toast
As I strolled home at a little after midnight
I met with a young lady dressed in white.
She sat on a post
Eating delicious hot buttered toast.
And she offered me some at just after midnight …
When A Young Lady Named Shand
When a young lady named Shand
Said, “your wish is my command!”.
And I said, “iron my shirt”.
She said, “you are no flirt!”.
And whacked me with her hand!
When A Young Lady Swimming In A Lake
When a young lady swimming in a lake
Said, “I wonder, would you care to partake?”.
It was so very cold
But I, being most bold,
Jumped straight into that cold lake to partake!
Whilst Walking Through Dear Old London Town
Whilst walking through dear old London town
I met a girl wearing a nightgown.
When I said, “aint it funny
How the bees they make honey?”,
She slipped right out of her nightgown!
K Morris - Poet 