When my dear old aunt named Kate
Died and left me her whole estate,
I received a broken pencil
And a very empty till,
And an IOU from my aunt Kate!
When My Dear Old Aunt Named Kate
2 Replies
Tag Archives: funny poetry
The Bishop’s Ceiling
When a naked young lady from Ealing
Went and swung from the bishop’s ceiling,
A spinster called Hocking
Found it most shocking!
And the bishop gazed at the ceiling!
Haughty Kath
When a haughty young lady named Kath
Demanded that I run her a bath,
And I said, “do it yourself!”
She said, “but I’m an elf!”. ,
I said, “go magic your own bath!”
A Most Respectable Gentleman of the Church
A most respectable gentleman of the church
Would like to bring back the birch.
His friend Miss Wood
Believes that is good,
And likes to give him the birch!
Ron the Poet
There once was a poet named Ron
Who said, “poetry is for everyone!”,
But when he wrote on a bus
The driver created such a fuss!
As he didn’t like poetry or Ron!
Foolish Mark
When a foolish young man known as Mark
Went for a walk in a haunted park,
A kindly old ghoul
Said, “you’re a fool!
But I’ll let you off this once Mark!”
There Once Was a Lady of Settle
There once was a lady of Settle
Who went and stood on a nettle.
She said such bad words
That it frightened the birds,
And shocked the good people of Settle!
A Ghoul in the School Swimming Pool
There once was a ghastly ghoul
Who haunted a school swimming pool.
When the headmistress Jane
Gave him the cane
He yelled and left that pool!
There Once Was a Vampire in Brighton
There once was a vampire in Brighton
Who liked all the people to frighten,
Until a waitress called Lake
Offered him a big steak,
Which frightened that vampire out of Brighton!
They Say there’s a Wicked Old Rake
They say there’s a wicked old rake
Who goes by the name of Lake.
But he’s also known as Kevin
And he’ll never get to heaven –
I think there must be some mistake!
K Morris - Poet 