Tag Archives: funny poetry

Naughty Miss Harris

When I went with that naughty Miss Harris

For a dirty weekend to that beautiful Paris,

Her and Miss Honey

Stole all my money.

Dear reader, please send some money to Paris!

I have Heard Nymphs are Sometimes Found

I have heard nymphs  are sometimes found

In the fragrant wood.

 

 

It would be good to lie down

On the leafy ground

And take delight in Aphrodite.

 

 

But no, the wood

Is full of deep mud

And poor Miss Aphrodite

Would spoil yet another nightie!

An Act of Genorosity

When a young lady known as Miss Lee

Said, “I know that you don’t like me!”.

And I said, “you are nice,

But I have never liked vice!”,

She said, “what if I wave the fee …!

Meg and the Giant Easter Egg

There once was a girl named Meg

Who hid in a giant Easter egg.

But the sun shone down

And she turned chocolate brown,

And got eaten along with that egg!

Miss Purvis

I know a young lady named Purvis

Who is known for her special service.

When the lights go down

I’ve seen the vicar frown

When the bishop disappears with Miss Purvis …

After a Night of Delight with Miss White

After a night of delight with Miss White

We got caught by my wife Mrs Right.

She comes from Bristol

And packs a pistol –

We ducked as she shot out the light!

There Once Was an Old Man in a Shroud

There once was an old  man in a shroud

Who said, “this music is far too loud!”.

They said to him, “Ted!

We thought you where dead!”.

He said, “yes! And  this music is too loud!”.

Magyar

When a young lady wearing no bra

Said, “do you know I’m a Magyar?”,

And I said, “so you are Hungary?”,

She replied, “no, I’ve just had tea!

But I just can’t find my bra!”

My Midnight Stroll

As I strolled home at just after midnight

I met a young lady under a street light.

We spent our time

In discussing fine rhyme,

As I explained to a police constable that night …!