There once was a lady of Settle
Who went and stood on a nettle.
She said such bad words
That it frightened the birds,
And shocked the good people of Settle!
There Once Was a Lady of Settle
5 Replies
Tag Archives: funny poetry
A Ghoul in the School Swimming Pool
There once was a ghastly ghoul
Who haunted a school swimming pool.
When the headmistress Jane
Gave him the cane
He yelled and left that pool!
There Once Was a Vampire in Brighton
There once was a vampire in Brighton
Who liked all the people to frighten,
Until a waitress called Lake
Offered him a big steak,
Which frightened that vampire out of Brighton!
They Say there’s a Wicked Old Rake
They say there’s a wicked old rake
Who goes by the name of Lake.
But he’s also known as Kevin
And he’ll never get to heaven –
I think there must be some mistake!
Naughty Miss Harris
When I went with that naughty Miss Harris
For a dirty weekend to that beautiful Paris,
Her and Miss Honey
Stole all my money.
Dear reader, please send some money to Paris!
I have Heard Nymphs are Sometimes Found
I have heard nymphs are sometimes found
In the fragrant wood.
It would be good to lie down
On the leafy ground
And take delight in Aphrodite.
But no, the wood
Is full of deep mud
And poor Miss Aphrodite
Would spoil yet another nightie!
An Act of Genorosity
When a young lady known as Miss Lee
Said, “I know that you don’t like me!”.
And I said, “you are nice,
But I have never liked vice!”,
She said, “what if I wave the fee …!
An Act of genorosity
Meg and the Giant Easter Egg
There once was a girl named Meg
Who hid in a giant Easter egg.
But the sun shone down
And she turned chocolate brown,
And got eaten along with that egg!
Miss Purvis
I know a young lady named Purvis
Who is known for her special service.
When the lights go down
I’ve seen the vicar frown
When the bishop disappears with Miss Purvis …
K Morris - Poet 