I know a young lady of Malta
And no-one is able to fault her.
But back at mine
She crosses a line –
But nobody knows that in Malta …!
I know a young lady of Malta
And no-one is able to fault her.
But back at mine
She crosses a line –
But nobody knows that in Malta …!
There once was a thief named Bill
Who dated a young lady called Jill.
He stole her heart
And all her art,
So they locked him in a mill!
There once was a student named Gwen
Who was fond of throwing her pen.
A teacher called Lou
Said, “that won’t do!”,
And threw that pen back at Gwen!
When a ferryman who sailed the great river Styx
Went and pelted me and my mates with bricks,
Me and Moat
Sank his boat,
Which now lies at the bottom of the Styx!
A young lady who is fond of booze
Lost her stiletto shoes in the river Ouse.
Now a naughty nun
Wears them for fun –
We met on a round the world cruise!
When a young man known as Matt
Went and bought a very large cat,
An elderly person called Brian
Yelled something about a lion!
And that was the end of that!
When a man of the world said, “Rose,
The wise young woman knows
That all men they are full of sin!”,
That girl gave a grin,
As she went in search of her clothes …!
There once was a poet named Moat
Who rode around on a great goat.
When they said, “your verse,
It grows worse and worse!”,
He would smile and blame that goat!
As I walked through Trafalgar Square
I met the ghost of Voltaire.
I said, “are you Candide?”.
He said, “no sir! Indeed!
I am Voltaire! haunting Trafalgar Square!”
When a young lady known as Kate
Said, “I think your poetry is great!”,
I said to her, “honey,
Are you looking for money?”,
And she winked at me did Kate …!