Tag Archives: funny poetry

Only 9

When a young lady who is 9

Said, “all boys are far from divine!”,

And with her water pistol

Blasted them all to Bristol!

They forgave her as she’s only 9!

Out Shooting Grouse

When I met a gentleman out shooting grouse

Who said, “sir, have you seen my spouse?”.

And I said, “I’ve seen Moriah

In a haystack with the squire!”,

He said, “I’ll shoot more than those grouse!”

My Gorgeous AI

I have gone and bought a gorgeous AI

Who goes by the name of Miss Sky.

She says “as a robot,

I often get real hot”.

Then she smiles and bats her one eye …

Miss Mudd

A young lady known as Miss Mudd

Likes to make love in the wood.

My friend vicar Lyme

Is fond of rhyme

And his shoes are covered in mud

Opaque Poetry

When a young lady named Lake

Said “your poetry is very opaque!”,

I wrote one in Latin

About girls in pink satin

Who keep wicked old poets awake …!

Byron and the Siren

When a young man known as Byron

Went and dated a sexy young Siren,

They found his socks

On some treacherous rocks.

But there was no sign of Byron …!

 

Midnight Knock

When a young lady named Moore

Went and knocked at a midnight door,

I recall how Bishop Paul

Said, “we all sometimes fall”,

As he opened that midnight door …

 

When an Extremely Pushy Young Lady of Malaysia

When an extremely pushy young lady of Malaysia

Demanded that we all go and praise her,

A man from Liverpool

Called her a fool,

And got praised by the people of Malaysia!

 

Barking Up the Wrong Tree

When my dog friend said to me,

“You are barking up the wrong tree!”,

I said to him, “Mark,

I am unable to bark!

And you can not climb that tree!”

The Importance of Discretion

A young lady of a very ancient profession

Is well known for her tact and discretion.

I’ve seen her in town

With her friend vicar Brown –

They think I possess great tact and discretion …!