When a young man named Lee
Went and tried to blackmail me,
I gave a big smile
And said, “meet Mr crocodile!”
Which ended that blackmail and Lee …!
The Dangers of Blackmail
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Tag Archives: funny poetry
Being Discrete
I met a young lady of a certain profession
Who said, “sir, do please show some discretion!”,
Her name is Miss Bess
And here is her address –
But no! I think I should show more discretion!
A Young Lady of Ill Repute
I know a young lady of ill repute
Who has great skill in playing the flute.
Her friend Miss Morgan
Plays the vicar’s organ –
They say he’s a man of great repute …!
When a Beautiful Young Lady from Harwich
When a beautiful young lady from Harwich
Went and boarded a first class carriage,
And a ticket collector named Glass
Said, “this ticket is second class!”.
She said, “but I am proposing marriage …!”
Sceptical Claire
When a sceptical young lady named Claire
Found a ghost sitting in her chair,
She said, “I must be drunk
As I’m imagining a ghostly monk!”.
And that ghost he glared at Claire!
Secrets
When a young lady named Miss Moon
Trusted me with all her secrets yesterday afternoon,
I told her about Lou
Who works in a zoo
And moonlights as a stripper on Saturday afternoons!
A Poet Named Cotton
There once was a poet named Cotton
Whose poetry has long since been forgotten.
I once met a pig
Who didn’t give a fig
For me or the poetry of Cotton!
I Once Met a Man Named Max
I once met a man named Max
Who refused to pay any tax.
A young lady called Miss Lou
Spanks paying gentlemen with her shoe –
I hope that she pays her tax!
A Good Investment
When a scantily clad young lady in Chester
Said, “sir, won’t you become my investor?”,
And I asked her why.
She said, “my name is Sky.
And I’m a very hot prospect in Chester!”
Moral Relativist
When a young lady that I once kissed
Said, “tell me, are you a moral relativist?”,
I said, “darling Lou,
Would that bother you?”,
She said, “I liked it when we kissed …!”
K Morris - Poet 