Whilst visiting a place known as Clapham
A girl said, “I’ll make it happen!”.
When I said, “does it involve money?”,
She said, “o, my dear naïve honey,
Don’t you know everything does in Clapham!”
I awoke on an island with seals
And spied a young lady in heels.
When I said, “my dear,
How did we get here!”,
She said, “we got kidnapped by seals!”.
My dear friend the beautiful Miss Lee
Has won prizes for her erotic poetry.
She came round last night
With a girl called white
And we played at cards till 3.
I know a young lady named Sun
Who is always up for some fun.
Her and Miss Claire
Work in the fair,
And from their boyfriends I must run!
A young lady wearing only her bra
Came to drink in my favourite bar.
She said her heels
Got stolen by seals
And her dress was in my car!
There once was an old man named Hogg
Who said, “I’ve been flogged by a dog!”.
They said to him, “sir,
You should take more care!
And you really should stay off that grog!”.
When a young lady whose known as Nat
Went and left her perfume in my flat,
My sweet girlfriend Leigh
Began to berate me!
But it wasn’t me, it was that Nat!
I’m dating a young lady named Ronda
Who is extremely fond of her anaconda.
When I say to her, “dear,
We will get married next year”,
She says, “I’m fonder of my anaconda!”.
When a young lady eating Strawberry Ice
Said, “there can be absolutely no vice!”.
They said, “Claire,
Steady on there!
And wear something with that Strawberry Ice!”.
When a naughty young lady named Hocking
Did something that was really quite shocking,
A vicar called Hubbard
Hid in a cupboard,
And me, I hid with Miss Hocking …
K Morris - Poet 