When a young lady named Claire
Started to pull on my hair,
I, being no masochist
Said, “you must desist!”.
But Claire really liked my hair!
My Hair
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Tag Archives: funny poems
A Grave Situation
When a corpse whose name was Dave
Jumped out of a most ancient grave
And said to me,
“Come round for tea”.
I said, “Dave, I’m not that brave!”.
The Subjective Appreciation of Art
When a young lady posing in the nude
Said, “you may all think me extremely rude!”,
The good bishop Heart
Admired her fine art.
But his wife said something really quite crude!
A Young Lady Named Miss Whiting
A young lady named Miss Whiting
Hosts parties which are always exciting.
We eat lots of cake
And swim in her lake.
And then there comes the exciting!
On Awakening One Hot Summer Morn
On awakening one hot summer morn
I gazed at the beautiful Dawn.
And said, with a start,
Why bless my old heart!
How did you get here Dawn!”.
When A Man With A Face Most Ruddy
When a man with a face most ruddy
Decided to walk mud all over my study,
I took out a gun
Which caused him to run.
And his face it became not so ruddy!
A Very Good Friend Of Mine
A very good friend of mine
Is fond of women and wine.
As for me
I prefer tea.
And I never cross the line!
When A Young Man Named Mr Pat
When a young man named Mr Pat
Said, “has anyone seen my new hat?”,
His sister’s friend Miss Claire
Fell asleep in her armchair.
And Pat’s cat grew sleek and fat.
When My Neighbour, Whose Name Is Rose
When my neighbour, whose name is Rose
Walked the streets whilst wearing no clothes,
Prim and proper Miss Hocking
Said, “your behaviour is shocking!”.
So I gave Rose back her clothes!
When I Found Beautiful Miss Cath
When I found beautiful Miss Cath
Soaking in my brand new bath,
I played on my violin
A tune of sweet sin.
But all she did was laugh!
K Morris - Poet 