Tag Archives: funny poems

The Clever Cow

I once met a clever cow

Who said, “I don’t know how

All of my milk

Is smooth as silk!”,

I said, “wow! A talking cow!”

When I Met a Ghost in a Churchyard

When I met a ghost in a churchyard

Who said, “being dead is so very hard!

I always try to be friendly,

But everyone’s so scared of me!”,

I ran at great speed from that churchyard!

When a Pushy Young Author Named Lee

When a pushy young author named Lee

Said, “I demand that you support me!”,

I said, “life is brief

And it ends in grief.

Now Lee, do accept this fifty pea!”

When My Dear Old Aunt Named Kate

When my dear old aunt named Kate

Died and left me her whole estate,

I received a broken pencil

And a very empty till,

And an IOU from my aunt Kate!

A Young Lady of Toulouse

I know a young lady of Toulouse

Who is extremely fond of her booze.

Whilst drunk on Hock

She lost her frock,

And a monk he stole her shoes!

Haughty Kath

When a haughty young lady named Kath

Demanded that I run her a bath,

And I said, “do it yourself!”

She said, “but I’m an elf!”. ,

I said, “go magic your own bath!”

A Most Respectable Gentleman of the Church

A most respectable gentleman of the church

Would like to bring back the birch.

His friend Miss Wood

Believes that is good,

And likes to give him the birch!

Eliot’s Handstand

When I saw Eliot doing a handstand

I asked him to explain the Wasteland.

He said, “my poem is complex

And many people it has vexed!”.

I said, “yes! That I can understand!”

Miss Rusty

When a young lady known as Rusty

Said, “you Sir are old and crusty!”.

I said to her, “Miss,

Some girls bring great bliss.

But you Miss are so very rusty!”

Jeff the Chef

There once was a Labrador called Jeff

Who took a job as a chef.

He ate all the food

And was thought very rude,

But he loved his job did Jeff!