When an elderly gentleman named Mr Foster
Choked on some cheese whilst in Gloucester.
A doctor called Louise
Said, “he liked cheese!
And he died whilst eating Double Gloucester!”
The Joys of Cheese
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Tag Archives: funny poems
Wet Mops
When young ladies waving very wet mops
Jumped and danced on the table tops,
All the old gentlemen cheered.
While I shaved my beard.
And the waiters they called the cops!
Draughts or Chess
I know an extremely pretty young barmaid
And many a game we have played.
When I say to her, “Bess,
Shall we play draughts or chess?”,
She winks at me does that barmaid …!
Heaven
When a beautiful young lady said, “Kevin,
At seven I’ll send you to heaven!”.
I said to her, “darling Heather,
I look forward to the pleasure!”,
Then she produced a pistol at seven!
My Mother in Law
When a plucky young man known as Moore
Went and insulted my mother in law,
And my wife Mrs White
Said, “challenge him to a fight!”,
I said, “but she is a terrible bore!”
Midnight Knock
When a young lady named Moore
Went and knocked at a midnight door,
I recall how Bishop Paul
Said, “we all sometimes fall”,
As he opened that midnight door …
When an Extremely Pushy Young Lady of Malaysia
When an extremely pushy young lady of Malaysia
Demanded that we all go and praise her,
A man from Liverpool
Called her a fool,
And got praised by the people of Malaysia!
The Importance of Discretion
A young lady of a very ancient profession
Is well known for her tact and discretion.
I’ve seen her in town
With her friend vicar Brown –
They think I possess great tact and discretion …!
The Naughty Nymph
I’ve just met a very naughty nymph
Who winked at me from a plinth.
Her name is Miss Follett
And she has my wallet!
Dear reader! Have you seen that nymph!
Perm
I met a man with a perm
Who called me a worthless worm.
I grabbed sharp sheers
And despite his tears
I cut off that worthless perm!
K Morris - Poet 