When I stayed in a haunted old house
With ghastly ghouls and a very small mouse,
I awoke with a fright
As the clock struck midnight,
And ghouls screamed with fear of that mouse!
The Haunted Old House
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Tag Archives: funny poems
Hutt’s Lamp
When a man whacking me with a lamp
Demanded that I give him a stamp.
I said, “dear Hutt,
Please accept this uppercut!”,
Then I stamped on him and his lamp!
The Joys of the Fairground
I know a young lady named Round
Who is extremely fond of the fairground.
Whilst on the Big Dipper
I met with a stripper
Whose name I found to be Round!
Miss Flow’s Delicious Cake
Have you seen that pretty Miss flow
Who works from a flat in Soho?
Please make no mistake
She serves delicious cake –
Well that’s what I’ve heard from Joe …!
Moriah and the British Empire
When a most forgetful old lady named Moriah
Asked, “what has happened to the British Empire?”,
And they said, “it is long gone!”,
She sighed and said, “eaten by Ron”.
She’s a most amusing old lady is Moriah!
When I Saw My Dear Friend Miss Marr
When I saw my dear friend Miss Marr
Drinking good brandy and smoking a fine cigar,
And I mistook her for Churchill,
She said, “my name is Bill!
And why are you wearing my new bra!”
A Philosophical Encounter
When I met a pretty Utilitarian last night
Who told me her name was Miss White,
We discussed pleasure and pain.
Then we did that again.
As reading Bentham filled us both with delight!
White Van Man
When a cultured young lady named Ann
Went and dated a white van man,
She spoke of great Shakespeare,
Which he found quite queer –
But they had fun in his van …
Feisty Miss White
When a pretty young lady named White
Said, “I will turn out the light”.
And I said, “then get into bed?”,
She smacked me hard on the head.
Those nurses can get feisty at night!
Those nurses they
Terrible Old Bore
When a rude young man named Moore
Said, “you are a terrible old bore!”.
I gave him a smile
And then, with great style,
I kicked Moore out of the door!
K Morris - Poet 