When a sceptical young lady named Claire
Found a ghost sitting in her chair,
She said, “I must be drunk
As I’m imagining a ghostly monk!”.
And that ghost he glared at Claire!
Sceptical Claire
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Tag Archives: funny poems
Bill Who Lived on a High Hill
There once was a man named Bill
Who lived on a very high hill.
His young mistress Sally
Lived in a valley
And his wife she lived with Bill!
Dating a Lap Dancer
I am dating a beautiful young lap dancer
And sometimes I like to romance her.
When I have money
She calls me hunny,
But when I don’t she calls me chancer!
Pistols at Dawn!
When a man said, “its pistols at dawn
To take place on the vicar’s fine lawn”.
I said, “my dear Lou
I won’t be joining you.
I’ll leave it to you and Miss Dawn!”
When a man said, “its pistols at dawn
To take place on the vicar’s fine lawn”.
I said, “my dear Lou
I won’t be joining you.
I’ll leave it to you and Miss Dawn!”
The Haunted Old House
When I stayed in a haunted old house
With ghastly ghouls and a very small mouse,
I awoke with a fright
As the clock struck midnight,
And ghouls screamed with fear of that mouse!
Hutt’s Lamp
When a man whacking me with a lamp
Demanded that I give him a stamp.
I said, “dear Hutt,
Please accept this uppercut!”,
Then I stamped on him and his lamp!
The Joys of the Fairground
I know a young lady named Round
Who is extremely fond of the fairground.
Whilst on the Big Dipper
I met with a stripper
Whose name I found to be Round!
Miss Flow’s Delicious Cake
Have you seen that pretty Miss flow
Who works from a flat in Soho?
Please make no mistake
She serves delicious cake –
Well that’s what I’ve heard from Joe …!
Moriah and the British Empire
When a most forgetful old lady named Moriah
Asked, “what has happened to the British Empire?”,
And they said, “it is long gone!”,
She sighed and said, “eaten by Ron”.
She’s a most amusing old lady is Moriah!
When I Saw My Dear Friend Miss Marr
When I saw my dear friend Miss Marr
Drinking good brandy and smoking a fine cigar,
And I mistook her for Churchill,
She said, “my name is Bill!
And why are you wearing my new bra!”
K Morris - Poet 