I met a young lady named Yvette
Who said she works as a vet.
As I got down on all fours
And I showed her my sharp claws,
I wondered, is she really a vet?
Yvette the Vet
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Tag Archives: funny poem
Flogging a Dead Horse
When a young lady on a riding course
Said, “you can not flog a dead horse”.
And I said, “that would be cruel!”.
She called me a stupid old fool!
That girls in love with me of course!
When My Friend, Who Comes from Kent
When my friend, who comes from Kent
Said, “I have all my rent spent
On beautiful young women,
Who’s profession is sinning!”.
I said, “I’m not paying your rent!”.
Lina the Car Thief
When a naughty young lady named Miss Lina
Decided to steal my battered old Ford Cortina,
A policeman called Guy
Said, “I’d rather die,
Than be seen driving that battered old Cortina!”.
Whilst Drinking the Finest Wine Over Dinner
Whilst drinking the finest wine over dinner
I was approached by a beautiful sinner.
She said, “will you join me
For delicious hot crumpet and tea?”.
I said, “I’ve not yet finished dinner!”.
If You Hear A Wicked Rumour
If you hear a wicked rumour
About an extremely beautiful young perfumer,
By the name of Miss White,
And what we did last night.
Remember, its just a wicked rumour!
—
If you hear a wicked rumour
About an extremely beautiful young perfumer,
By the name of Miss White
And what we did last night.
Remember, she’s a beautiful young perfumer …
Naked Poetry
When a young lady said to me,
Kevin, are you fond of naked poetry?”.
I said, “my dear Heather
It is such cold weather.
So please provide lots of hot tea!”.
Miss Spink’s Kink
When a young lady named Miss Spink
Said, “sir, have you seen my kink?”.
That terrible old killjoy Clair
Said, “its in her hair”.
But Spink, she gave me a wink!
As I Sat Busily at My Writing
As I sat busily at my writing
With my beautiful young friend Miss Whiting,
She gave me a smile
And said, “in a while,
Let us do something far more exciting …”.
Whilst Hiding in a Large Metal Bin
Whilst hiding in a large metal bin
I met a young lady named Lin.
She dressed in clear plastic
And had morals most elastic.
But I didn’t give in to sin!
—
Whilst hiding in a rather large metal bin
With a most sinful young lady named Lin,
A kindly constable called Ted
Said, “please go to bed.
You’d be more comfortable than in this bin!”.
K Morris - Poet 