There once was a fine fireman named Jim
Who was not what one would call slim.
He used his hose
On the vicar’s nose,
As he preached of the dangers of sin!
There Once Was a Fine Fireman Named Jim
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Tag Archives: funny poem
Miss Shand’s Hand
When I asked the talented and beautiful Miss Shand
If we could enjoy a hot one night stand,
She said, “your not witty,
And your certainly not pretty!”.
And she gave me the back of her hand!
My One Night Stand
I once had a one night stand
With a young lady named Miss Bland.
It may have been December.
But I really don’t remember,
As that girl was so very bland!
My Dear Old Friend the Late Squire
My dear old friend the late squire
Had a passion for young Miss Moriah.
But his wife Claire
Discovered him with her –
Oh, how I miss the old squire!
Grace
I know a young lady named Grace
Who is known for her pretty face.
A girl called Nell
Runs a seedy hotel.
But at least it’s graced by Grace!
There Once Was A Poet Named Bannon
There once was a poet named Bannon
Who spoke of the great literary cannon.
But his poor verse
It grew steadily worse –
So they shot him with that cannon!
When A Young Lady Gave A Speech
When a young lady gave a speech
On the subject of her fine peach,
My friend miss Claire
Showed off her pear.
And the police closed down that speech!
Anna’s Spanner
A young lady named Anna
Whacks me with her spanner.
But I never complain
As her cousin Jane,
Has such a pleasant manner!
The Man with a Goat in a Boat
There once was a man in a boat
Who wrote a poem on his pet goat.
The goat gave a yawn
And, with his great horn,
Tossed that man right out of that boat!
The Old Rake
There once was a most dissolute old rake
Who, on being rescued from a great lake,
Spoke of sinning
With gorgeous women –
So they threw him back in that lake!
K Morris - Poet 