Tag Archives: funny poem

There Once Was a Girl Named Louise

There once was a girl named Louise
Who was famous for sailing the seas.
She cooked a bad man
In her large frying pan.
And the pirates all deserted the seas!

Lost Property

I have found a stiletto shoe
Which I think belongs to Lou.
I’ve also discovered a pretty sock
And a very short party frock.
Or do they belong to you!

Vampire Humour

I’m dating a pretty vampire named Wood
Who is rather fond of men’s blood.
But she also likes wine,
Which suits me real fine.
As I’m rather fond of my blood!

Wong’s Gong

There was a young lady named Wong
Who liked to bong on her gong.
When the vicar comes for tea
She invariably sits on my knee.
But now lets return to Wong’s gong!

I know a young lady named Wong
Who likes to bong on her gong.
When the vicar comes for tea
She invariably sits on my knee,
And Wong she bongs on her gong!

There Was a Young Lady of Hull

There was a young lady of Hull
Who, on being chased by a bull
Leapt into a great lake,
Where she encountered a rake.
So she returned forthwith to that bull!

My Local Gallery

I met a young lady named Malorie
Whose paintings hang in my local gallery.
Whilst admiring her nude
She called me rude,
So I returned to my local gallery …

The Bachelor

If 2 depart
In skirts and heels
At break of day
What will the neighbours say
Of the bachelor man,
And Claire and Miss Anne …?

Mayfair

A beautiful young lady from London’s Mayfair
Has indulged in many a steamy affair.
Priggish Miss Coral
Calls her immoral,
Which is strange as she’s called Claire!

A beautiful young lady of London’s Mayfair
Is known by the name of Flair.
Priggish Miss Coral
Calls her immoral.
And I like to visit London’s Mayfair …

Dalliance By Moonlight

As the moon shone bright last night
I spied 2 young women by moonlight.
I said, “this here bed
Has seen many a head.
But this rope is a little tight …”.

Parks and Karl Marx

There was a young man named Parks
Who quoted the works of Karl Marx
To pretty young women,
Who thought of sinning,
Whilst Parks he thought of Karl Marx!