There once was a rake named Howe
Who liked to dress as a cow.
He tempted young farming women
Into all kinds of sinning.
So the farmers they skinned that cow!
There Once Was a Rake Named Howe
4 Replies
Tag Archives: funny poem
Going to Hell in a Handcart
A most dissolute young lady named Miss Heart
Said, “we’re going to hell in a handcart!”.
But the road being bumpy
And the Devil’s custard lumpy,
I said, “me and this handcart must part!”
Pious Miss Flow
When a pious young lady named Miss Flow
Said, “I hear that your morals are low!”.
I wiped away a tear
And said, “Flow, my dear,
Do you know your standing on my toe!”
Hot Apple Pie
When a gorgeous young lady named Sky
Offered me some very hot apple pie,
I said, “yes please”.
But she did tease.
So instead I got some hot Sky!”
When My Girlfriend, the Beautiful Miss Lou
When my girlfriend, the beautiful Miss Lou
Said, “there’s a wicked side to you!”.
Our housemate Miss White
Turned out the light,
And said, “may I join you 2?”
A Young Lady with Plenty of Money
A young lady with plenty of money
Calls me her sweet and her honey.
Her name it is Jane
And she’s so very plain.
But, dear reader, she’s loaded with money …!
When a Young Lady Sitting On a Box
When a young lady sitting on a box
Said, “sir, you are a sly old fox!”
I replied, “dear Lin
I’ve committed no sin.
It’s his lordship whose been wearing your frocks!”
When a Young Lady Who Comes From Burton
When a young lady who comes from Burton
Came round and swung from my bedroom curtain,
And I said, “don’t fall!”
My cynical old friend Paul
Said, “she fell long ago swinging in Burton!”
Whilst Dancing On My Most Favourite Bar
Whilst dancing on my most favourite bar
I was joined by barmaid Miss Marr.
All the glasses went flying
And old ladies started crying.
And they still haven’t found that bra!
Old Mother Hubbard for Today
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get her poor doggy a bone.
But when she got there
She found Miss Claire,
Keeping company with the good vicar Bone!
K Morris - Poet 