There once was a young person of Woking
Who had a very bad habit of poking,
Until they poked an old man
Who said, “I’ve got a plan,
To kick you around the town of Woking!”.
There Once Was a Young Person of Woking
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Monthly Archives: May 2024
Lyme Who Taught His Dog How to Rhyme
There once was a poet named Lyme
Who taught his dog how to rhyme.
In the depths of dark
He would howl and bark
And his dog would recite a rhyme.
Ambiguity
I dreamed a dream of delight
On a warm spring night
And when I awoke
My conscience spoke.
It said, “dreams are not crimes,
But when a poet rhymes
In his art
You see his heart”.
As for me
I must practice ambiguity
In my poetry
Lest my art
Reveal my secret heart.
When I go away
Perchance my verse will stay
And some will upbraid me
For my poor poetry
And the crime
Of ambiguous rhyme …
Seals and High-Heels
A young lady who wore only high-heels
Had a fondness for swimming with seals.
An old vicar called Glass
Said, “we are but grass.
But I’m fond of seals and high-heels!”
There Once Was a Bishop Known as Ted
There once was a bishop known as Ted
Who, being found with his mistress in bed
Said, “if I had time
I would most certainly resign!
But its so very comfortable in this bed!”
Temptation
Sometimes when loneliness or aching lust
Becomes too much
I crave a woman’s touch,
For in her arms I forget
All my regret,
And that I am dust.
At other times
I take refuge in rhymes
From poets long gone.
Books have charms
But a girl’s soft arms
And her scent often tempts
Me – sometimes into poetry …
Gwen Who Works in a Dodgy Gambling Den
I know a young lady named Gwen
Who works in a dodgy gambling den.
When she spins the wheel
All the money she steals,
So she’s loaded is my girlfriend Gwen …!
So I’m dating that young lady Gwen!
Lost Youth
On a spring day
Girls in short dresses
Progress by.
Old men sigh
Finding their mind
Turn to past progress
And the truth
That youth
Is fleeting as flowers.
Humorous Verse
I have always enjoyed humorous verse. As a child I derived great pleasure from Edward Lear’s “The Owl and The Pussycat” and other similar verses. Then when I began to first write poetry, besides my serious work, I also penned (and continue to compose) humorous poems, 2 of which can be found below.
When a young man named Gus
Quoted Thomas Malthus on the bus,
A few fell asleep
While others did weep,
But the driver he didn’t fuss!
—
When a close friend of my girlfriend
Invited us to spend a dirty weekend,
We entered the deep wood
And fell in the mud,
But lets return to our dirty weekend!
—
In 2023 I published a selection of my humorous verses, “My Friend’s Robot Girlfriend”, which is available in Kindle and paperback from Amazon and can be found here, My Friend’s Robot Girlfriend and Other Humorous Verses – Kindle edition by Morris, K, Morris, K . Literature & Fiction Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com..
Daisy Chains
I saw daisies in spring grass
And thought of the past
When I first made my chains
Unaware of coming care.
Our acts forge a chain
For good or bad.
When I was a lad
I took daisies freely
Innocent of what would come to be.
I have picked so many spring flowers.
And I have learned
That youthful hours
Can never return
And the chain I made
May grow heavier with age.
K Morris - Poet 