There is a young lady called Irene
Who I have never seen.
She has a son named Mike
Who looks very like
Me, and that young lady I’ve never seen …
I know a young lady named Moore
Who all the men adore.
She works in a club
Called the Back Rub
And the police they bang on the door …
As a child I took the acorn
From where it lay
On the forest’s lawn
As by way
Of the woodland path I went
Content
In my harmless play.
Shall I take
The acorn today
And break
The shell
I know so well?
The truth forlorn
Is that many an acorn
Have I broken in play.
Each night
I turn out the light
To sleep.
But in does creep
Miss White,
Every blooming night!
I know a young lady of Cadiz
Who went by the name of Liz.
The police are in search of her
So now she’s known as Claire,
That versatile young lady of Cadiz!
There was a young lady of Madrid
Who down an escalator slid.
A policewoman called Jane
Said “it looks like rain
In that city known as Madrid.
There was a young lady of Madrid
Who down an escalator slid.
A policewoman called Jane
Said “you will injure your brain.
You foolish young lady of Madrid!
Shall spring flowers stay
To play
With a gray
Winter’s day?
Some say
Nay
Flowers gay
Will not stay
For a gray
Winter’s day.
Yet I shall be bold
And venture to say
That gold
Is a powerful aphrodisiac
Which the poor man does lack
And which may
Smooth the way
For a gray
Winter’s day
To play
With spring flowers gay.
There was a young man called Clive
Who sat on a beehive.
With a pearcing scream
He awoke from his dream,
That fortunate young man called Clive!
There was a young lady called Claire
Who met me on the stair.
Her sister Lou
Saw us two
And gave a knowing stare …
—
There was a young lady called Clare
Who met me on the stair.
My mistress Lou
Was feeling blue
So joined us on the stair …
When a girl does acquiesce
To a lover’s caress
And undress,
The honest man must confess
That sometimes he
Finds an ordinary she
And the thought,
The silk and lace,
The chase
Are all
And the fall
Naught.
K Morris - Poet 