When a naughty young lady called Lou
Was caught stealing a single shoe
A store detective named Ted
Scratched his head
And said, “why did you not steal 2?”
When A Naughty Young Lady Called Lou
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Tag Archives: poems
Crows at Dusk
Dusk is falling.
I hear
In the autumn of my year
Crows calling
And the chatter of the magpie
As I
Ponder on days of yore.
The caw
Of this dark bird
Was no
Doubt heard
Long ago
By those who walked this self-same track.
The evening is chill
But I will
Not turn back
For melancholy is a precious part
Of the human heart,
And those who forever laugh
Do not comprehend
That every path
Must reach its end.
—
I hear children playing in a garden close to the park.
‘Tis a happy sound after the cawing of the crows.
Who knows
Perhaps matters
Are not so stark
For not all dreams shatter
And something of what is precious may survive.
The Rose
The rose, not yet opened, carries within
The seeds of it’s own destruction. For you see
The bee
Must sin
In the flower’s crimson heart
And the poet will call that art?
When A Talented Young Authoress Called Sue
When a talented young authoress called Sue
Got stuck in a public loo
She wrote a novel about a skyscraper
On the cheapest toilet paper
And published it at 2!
We Ourselves Lose
We ourselves lose
To flirts
In skirts
And high-heeled shoes.
Scent carried on a summer’s breeze.
Girls who tease
And perchance
Please.
‘Tis the dance
That will never end
My friend
Or so we pretend.
They Say that When Policemen Look Young
They say
That when policemen look young, you are getting old.
I was told
By a lady yesterday,
In a conversational way
That she was born
In the year
I came to old London town
To work.
A jerk
Of recognition within.
Hopes abandoned
There will be no sin …
Early Morning Monday Humour
There was a wealthy Socialist called Jane
Who lived down an exclusive lane.
At her grand parties aplenty
She wept over the poor’s cupboards empty
Whilst sipping her expensive champagne.
—
There was a young lady called Brass
Who’s manners where extremely crass.
The parish priest named Moore
Could hear Brass snore
As he said the evening mass …
Whilst on My Way Home Last Night
Whilst on my way home last night
I met my dear friend Miss White.
When I said, “Hello”,
She said, “you should know
That my husband he is absent tonight …”.
I Know a Tough Young Man Called Grub
I know a tough young man called Grub
Who works in a very rough pub.
A tattooed young lady named miss Moore
Throws troublemakers out the door
And me, I own that pub.
Sunday Humour
Last night as I walked in
I heard a terrible din.
There by the fireplace
Dressed in silk and lace
Sat the devil drinking my neat gin!
—
Last night as I walked in
I heard a terrible din.
There by my fireplace
Dressed in silk and lace
Sat Lucifer playing the violin.
—
Last night as I lay in sleep
The devil into my room did creep.
I remember her sweet scent
And the time we spent
And now I’m off to sleep …
—
As I went to bed last night
I met a young lady called White.
When I said “what are you doing here!?”
She replied “autumn evenings are so drear”.
‘So please, turn out the light”.
K Morris - Poet 