Tag Archives: nonsense verse

Grace the Magician

A magician who is known as Grace

Has made many men vanish without trace.

There’s a magic spade

And a secluded glade.

And the police are looking for Grace …

When a Young Lady Wearing 1 Spectacle

When a young lady wearing 1 spectacle

Said, “Kevin, tell me, are you respectable?”,

I said to her, “Ria,

I have been called insincere.

But I have never been called respectable!”

Tea Anyone?

When a young man using Chat GPT

Asked it to make him some tea,

It wrote about Ceylon

And hallucinated about Ron.

But he still hasn’t got his tea!

 

When I Met the Poet Milton

When I met the poet Milton

In the supermarket shopping for Stilton,

And I spoke of “Paradise Lost”,

He said, “have you seen the cost

Of all these cheeses, especially this Stilton!”

Pink Socks

When a young lady wearing pink socks

Walked into a shop full of clocks,

The shop owner named Lyme

Said, “it is high time

That you wore something with those socks!”.

The Joys of Cheese

When an elderly gentleman named Mr Foster

Choked on some cheese whilst in Gloucester.

A doctor called Louise

Said, “he liked cheese!

And he died whilst eating Double Gloucester!”

Wet Mops

When young ladies waving very wet mops

Jumped and danced on the table tops,

All the old gentlemen cheered.

While I shaved my beard.

And the waiters they called the cops!

Only 9

When a young lady who is 9

Said, “all boys are far from divine!”,

And with her water pistol

Blasted them all to Bristol!

They forgave her as she’s only 9!

Draughts or Chess

I know an extremely pretty young barmaid

And many a game we have played.

When I say to her, “Bess,

Shall we play draughts or chess?”,

She winks at me does that barmaid …!

Heaven

When a beautiful young lady said, “Kevin,

At seven I’ll send you to heaven!”.

I said to her, “darling Heather,

I look forward to the pleasure!”,

Then she produced a pistol at seven!