When a man said, “its pistols at dawn
To take place on the vicar’s fine lawn”.
I said, “my dear Lou
I won’t be joining you.
I’ll leave it to you and Miss Dawn!”
When a man said, “its pistols at dawn
To take place on the vicar’s fine lawn”.
I said, “my dear Lou
I won’t be joining you.
I’ll leave it to you and Miss Dawn!”
When I stayed in a haunted old house
With ghastly ghouls and a very small mouse,
I awoke with a fright
As the clock struck midnight,
And ghouls screamed with fear of that mouse!
I once met a man named Max
Who refused to pay any tax.
A young lady called Miss Lou
Spanks paying gentlemen with her shoe –
I hope that she pays her tax!
I know a young lady named Round
Who is extremely fond of the fairground.
Whilst on the Big Dipper
I met with a stripper
Whose name I found to be Round!
When a most forgetful old lady named Moriah
Asked, “what has happened to the British Empire?”,
And they said, “it is long gone!”,
She sighed and said, “eaten by Ron”.
She’s a most amusing old lady is Moriah!
When a cultured young lady named Ann
Went and dated a white van man,
She spoke of great Shakespeare,
Which he found quite queer –
But they had fun in his van …
When a pretty young lady named White
Said, “I will turn out the light”.
And I said, “then get into bed?”,
She smacked me hard on the head.
Those nurses can get feisty at night!
Those nurses they
When a rude young man named Moore
Said, “you are a terrible old bore!”.
I gave him a smile
And then, with great style,
I kicked Moore out of the door!
When I met a young lady in Soho
Who told me her name it was Flow,
I bought her and Jane
Lots of overpriced fake champagne
And awoke with a bloke in old Soho!
When the noble and erudite vicar Winning
Gave a fine sermon condemning all sinning,
Rose and Miss Spink
Gave him a wink.
And the congregation all fell about grinning!
K Morris - Poet 