I once read a critic named Green
Who was famous on the poetry scene.
He wrote my verse
It grows steadily worse.
Now he’s vanished from the poetry scene …
A Critic Named Green
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Tag Archives: nonsense verse
Sceptical Claire
When a sceptical young lady named Claire
Found a ghost sitting in her chair,
She said, “I must be drunk
As I’m imagining a ghostly monk!”.
And that ghost he glared at Claire!
Secrets
When a young lady named Miss Moon
Trusted me with all her secrets yesterday afternoon,
I told her about Lou
Who works in a zoo
And moonlights as a stripper on Saturday afternoons!
A Poet Named Cotton
There once was a poet named Cotton
Whose poetry has long since been forgotten.
I once met a pig
Who didn’t give a fig
For me or the poetry of Cotton!
Bill Who Lived on a High Hill
There once was a man named Bill
Who lived on a very high hill.
His young mistress Sally
Lived in a valley
And his wife she lived with Bill!
Pistols at Dawn!
When a man said, “its pistols at dawn
To take place on the vicar’s fine lawn”.
I said, “my dear Lou
I won’t be joining you.
I’ll leave it to you and Miss Dawn!”
When a man said, “its pistols at dawn
To take place on the vicar’s fine lawn”.
I said, “my dear Lou
I won’t be joining you.
I’ll leave it to you and Miss Dawn!”
The Haunted Old House
When I stayed in a haunted old house
With ghastly ghouls and a very small mouse,
I awoke with a fright
As the clock struck midnight,
And ghouls screamed with fear of that mouse!
I Once Met a Man Named Max
I once met a man named Max
Who refused to pay any tax.
A young lady called Miss Lou
Spanks paying gentlemen with her shoe –
I hope that she pays her tax!
The Joys of the Fairground
I know a young lady named Round
Who is extremely fond of the fairground.
Whilst on the Big Dipper
I met with a stripper
Whose name I found to be Round!
Moriah and the British Empire
When a most forgetful old lady named Moriah
Asked, “what has happened to the British Empire?”,
And they said, “it is long gone!”,
She sighed and said, “eaten by Ron”.
She’s a most amusing old lady is Moriah!
K Morris - Poet 