When I saw the good vicar Large
Making love to young women on a barge,
I just couldn’t stop grinning
And spoke of his sinning!
He said, “you’re paid to steer this barge!”
Vicar Large and the Barge
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Tag Archives: nonsense verse
When I Met the Devil in a Pub
When I met the devil in a pub
I said, “have you come in for grub?”
He said, “the barmaid is pretty
And you sir are most witty!
But alas! This pub it has no grub!
Chickens and Bottled Beer
There once was an author named Dickens
Who wrote a novel all about chickens.
It lay undiscovered for years
Among some old bottled beers
And a spinster who kept drunken chickens!
No Soul
There once was a young man named Mole
Who said, “I believe you have no soul!”
An old person called Neville
Said “I’m not the devil!”
And his eyes they blazed like hot coal …!
Cerebral
A young lady who is really most cerebral
Said, “your poetry it is so very terrible!”
I said to her, Jane,
You have a great brain,
But your manners they are really most terrible!”
A Young Lady’s Sock
A young lady drunk on Hock
Walked around wearing only 1 sock.
When they said, “you’re nude!,
Which is so very rude!”
She said, “I’m wearing a sock!”
Celebrity
A celebrity who appears on my TV
Is looking for a date with me.
Her name is Miss Spink
And I’ve seen her wink,
And I know that winks for me!
A Young Lady’s Hat
When a young lady wearing only a hat
Went and invited me back to her flat,
And I said, “Rose!
Where are your clothes!”,
She said, “You’re silly! They’re at my flat!”
My Literary Estate
I am marrying a young lady named Kate
Who will inherit all of my literary estate.
She says, “writers have money”,
Which I find really funny –
As she’ll inherit all of my literary estate …
If there is No Heaven or Hell
If there is no heaven or hell
Then one may as well
Give in to sin.
But they say Hell’s fire is hot
So perhaps better not
Play with pretty Miss Moriah.
Though I have heard the atheists tell
There is no hell.
So I’m going to heaven
With Moriah at 7 …
K Morris - Poet 