There was a young lady named Crystal
Who owned an antique pistol.
The gun went bang
And up she sprang
And ran all the way to Bristol!
There Was A Young Lady Named Crystal
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Tag Archives: nonsense verse
The Poet Sat In His Study
The poet sat in his study.
His thoughts where dark and muddy.
The poet’s dog walked in,
With a wag and a grin.
And paws all wet and muddy!
There Was A Young Man Called More
There was a young man called more
Who’s head was extremely sore.
He denied that it was drink
But the devil did wink
At the empties on the floor!
(“empties” means empty bottles. In this case of the alcoholic kind).
There Was A Young Man Called McFadden
There was a young poet called McFadden
Whose poems would sadden not gladden.
His dad shook his grey head
And sorrowfully said,
“Write something to gladden, McFadden”!
There Was A Young Lady Called Mel
There was a young lady called Mel
Who tried her soul to sell.
Said the devil,
“You are not on the level,
As your real name is Nell”!
—
There was a young lady called Mel
Who dated a man named Snell.
They went to the park
When it was dark
And the rest she refuses to tell!
There Was A Young Man Called Jo
There was a young man called Jo
Who dated a girl I know.
Her name was Claire,
But he had an affair
With her best friend Flare,
So the whole thing ended in woe.
There Was A Young Man Called Mark
There was a young man called Mark
Who went for a swim in the dark.
He met a shark
That night.
It gave him quite a fright
As it is against the rule
For a shark to be in a swimming pool!
There Was A Fireman Called Jim
There was a fireman called Jim
Who sang many a hymn.
He got a hose
Stuck up his nose
And that was the end of him!
Werner
Her name was Werner
He just couldn’t spurn her
Advance,
For she did dance
Ever closer.
He said, “I’m a grocer”.
She replied with a sigh, “Oh how I love bananas.
You must see my pyjamas
All covered in llamas.
To tell you the truth
My real name is Ruth,
But it is better to be a girl called Werner
For no one can turn her
Away.
Let us play
With the llamas.
I may lose the pyjamas
For the Bahamas
Are hot
And I have got
A thirst to slake.
Come, let us swim in yonder lake!” …
She Stood Upon Her Head
“I don’t like rules” she said
As she stood upon her head.
“I agree with thee
‘Tis good to be free.
Now do take tea
With me”
I said with glee.
“But the manager is looking.
Soon the shop he will be shutting.
I hear him shout
“You two, get out”!
She replied with a pout
K Morris - Poet 