Last night, I had a dream in which I had agreed to work in my local pub. Being blind, this would, no doubt have been a very interesting experience for me and the customers of that esteemed establishment.
My peculiar dream led to the composition of the below rhyme.
—
When a blind man whose name is Grub
Got a job in his local pub,
Those wanting brandy
Got lemonade shandy,
But the grub, it was really quite good!
There was a young lady named Samantha
Who bought a baby pet panther.
The creature was cute
And played the flute,
And Samantha, she was a dancer.
—
There was a young lady named Samantha
Who purchased a baby pet panther.
The creature played on the flute,,
But I never reached the root,
Of what happened to that Samantha . . .
—
A young lady whose name is Samantha
Works as an erotic dancer.
When the men bother her
She gives them a glare,
So I keep well away from Samantha!
When a young man named More
Said, with a most terrible roar,
“Down with the aristocracy,
And down with thee!”,
I answered him with a snore.
—
When a young man named More
Said, with a most terrible roar,
“Down with the aristocracy,
And down with thee!”,
I said, “close the study door”.
A young man whose name is Gus
Went out with a succubus.
He says she was pretty
And came from his city,
But the rest he refuses to discuss.
My aristocratic friend, who likes to doodle
Maintains ideas that are almost feudal,
And lives on a great estate
With my young mistress called Kate,
And an anarchistic, fat old poodle!
When a young lady named White
Developed a ladder in her tight,
At just gone 10
A window cleaner called Ken,
Borrowed that ladder in her tight!
—
When a young lady whose name is White
Developed a ladder in her tight,
A window cleaner called Ken
Swapped her a pen,
In exchange for that ladder in her tight.
I’ve uploaded several humourous poems to Soundcloud. You can view them below:
I know a young man named Rex
Who’s poems are extremely complex.
He writes them in latin
Whilst dressed in pink satin,
And all the girls love Rex!
—
I know a young man named Rex
Who’s poems are extremely complex.
He writes them in latin
Whilst dressed in pink satin,
Which does his poor readers vex!
When a young lady whose name is Lou
Asked, “what would you like to do?”
And I said, “if I say
You will throw me out today!”,
She replied, “that’s perfectly true!”.
When I met a group of young women
Who said, “we are in to sinning”,
I made reply,
“No saint am I,
But my hair is gray and thinning!”.
—
When I met a group of young women
Who said, “we are in to sinning”,
I said, with a laugh,
“Please, vacate my bath!”,
Which led to a good deal of grinning!
—
I know a young lady named Samantha
Who behaves just like a pantha.
Whilst in my bedroom
And scented with sweet perfume,
But that’s enough about Samantha . . .
K Morris - Poet 