When a young lady who’s name was Lou
Lost her party shoe
A girl called Anne
Lent her a frying pan
Which she wore instead of a shoe.
—
A talented young lady called Rose
Decided a poem to compose.
She wrote it all down
And a jolly old clown
Tattooed it right there on his nose.
—
When a talented young lady called Rose
Decided a poem to compose
A vicar named Night
Smiled with delight
And went in search of his clothes …
I know a person of old London town
Who decided their sorrows to drown
But having no cash
They took action most rash.
Now the judge he is sending them down!
—
There once was a lady of London town
Who wore a perpetual frown.
In a leaky old tent,
In a place called Kent
She married a jolly old clown!
—
There once was a lady called Black
Who’s heels whent clickety clack.
When in a graveyard at night
She received a most terrible fright,
So ran and didn’t look back!
There was a young lady called Lin
Who grew a giant pumpkin.
On the night of Halloween
I have often seen
The Devil dance and grin!
—
There was a young lady called Lin
Who grew a giant pumpkin.
On the night of Halloween
Or so I glean
She lit that giant pumpkin.
—
There was a young lady called Lin
Who committed a most terrible sin.
Twas in the depths of the dark
When, with her brother Mark
She stole my prize pumpkin!
There was a young man of Crystal Palace
Who married a girl from Dallas.
I hear they met
On the internet
And he never went to Dallas.
There was a young lady called Lou
Who never wore a shoe.
She would walk around town
In the vicar’s dressing gown.
Believe me its perfectly true!
—
There was a young lady called Lou
Who never wore a shoe.
As she walked down the street
In nought but her bare feet
The vicar he ran after Lou
—
There was a young lady called Lou
Who never wore a shoe.
As she strolled through the town
In the vicar’s dressing gown,
His wife she would run after Lou!
An elderly billionaire called Paul
Lived in a very grand hall.
His young wife Claire
Left her shoes on the stair
And inherited that very grand hall …
There was a young heiress called Kate
Who lived on a country estate.
Her father, Lord Moore
Was so fond of the poor
That he left them his estate!
There was a young lady called Holly
Who lived in an ancient folly.
One day at dawn
She looked forlorn
So I joined her in her folly …
I know a pretty young blonde
Of whom I’m extremely fond.
My wife Yvette
Works as a vet
And she doesn’t like that blonde …!
—
I know a pretty young blonde
Of whom I’m rather fond.
When she met
My wife Yvette
It ended in the pond!
There was a young man called Moat
Who knowing not which way to vote
Asked his girlfriend Lou
Whether to vote red or blue
While riding on a goat!
—
There was a young man called Moat
Who knowing not which way to vote
Went out on the town
His sorrows to drown
Then voted for a goat!
—
There was a young man called Moat
Who knowing not which way to vote
Went out on the town
His sorrows to drown
And quite forgot to vote!
K Morris - Poet 