I know a pretty young blonde
Of whom I’m extremely fond.
My wife Yvette
Works as a vet
And she doesn’t like that blonde …!
—
I know a pretty young blonde
Of whom I’m rather fond.
When she met
My wife Yvette
It ended in the pond!
There was a young man called Moat
Who knowing not which way to vote
Asked his girlfriend Lou
Whether to vote red or blue
While riding on a goat!
—
There was a young man called Moat
Who knowing not which way to vote
Went out on the town
His sorrows to drown
Then voted for a goat!
—
There was a young man called Moat
Who knowing not which way to vote
Went out on the town
His sorrows to drown
And quite forgot to vote!
There was a young man called Morris
Who laid claim to The Odes of Horace.
When the case came to court
The judge said, “I thought
That The Odes they where written by Borris!”.
There was a young lady called May
Who invited me to the ballet.
But being a man of discretion
I shall make no confession
Unless the tabloids they offer to pay …
—
There was a young lady called May
Who introduced me to her housemate Fay.
Back at their flat
I took off my hat
But they didn’t ask me to stay!
There was a young lady called Meg
Who laid a very large egg.
When the journalists came round
They found nothing profound
As Meg was pulling their leg …!
There was a young lady called Hocking
Who’s morals were truly shocking.
When she dated a man named Ed
And my brother called Fred,
Their wives they came aknocking!
There was a young lady called Lorraine
Who’s character lacked any stain.
An old rake named Paul
Said “most girls fall,
But I can not conquer Lorraine!”.
There was a young lady called Lorraine
Who’s character lacked any stain.
While on her wedding bed
She most properly said
“My virtue I shall retain!”.
A young lady by the name of Hocking
Was always my poetry mocking.
When she passed away
I’m sorry to say
That her end was truly shocking …
There was a young lady called Hocking
Who lost a fine silk stocking.
A vicar named Hogg
Owned a large black dog
Which ate that fine silk stocking …
There was a young lady called Anna
Who lived in a haunted manor.
A ghost named White
Sang at night
In a most delightful manner …!
There was a young lady called Anna
Who lived in a haunted manor.
A ghost named Ria
Filled her with fear
So she left that haunted manor!
There was a young lady of Madrid
Who down an escalator slid.
A policewoman called Jane
Said “it looks like rain
In that city known as Madrid.
There was a young lady of Madrid
Who down an escalator slid.
A policewoman called Jane
Said “you will injure your brain.
You foolish young lady of Madrid!
K Morris - Poet 