A celebrity who appears on my TV
Is looking for a date with me.
Her name is Miss Spink
And I’ve seen her wink,
And I know that winks for me!
A celebrity who appears on my TV
Is looking for a date with me.
Her name is Miss Spink
And I’ve seen her wink,
And I know that winks for me!
When a young lady wearing only a hat
Went and invited me back to her flat,
And I said, “Rose!
Where are your clothes!”,
She said, “You’re silly! They’re at my flat!”
I am marrying a young lady named Kate
Who will inherit all of my literary estate.
She says, “writers have money”,
Which I find really funny –
As she’ll inherit all of my literary estate …
When a young lady named Jacinta
Went and trod on a splinter,
She hopped all around
And said something profound.
And then she cursed that splinter!
If there is no heaven or hell
Then one may as well
Give in to sin.
But they say Hell’s fire is hot
So perhaps better not
Play with pretty Miss Moriah.
Though I have heard the atheists tell
There is no hell.
So I’m going to heaven
With Moriah at 7 …
A man who liked to eat chalk
Said that it helped him to talk.
One day, feeling bored,
He swallowed a blackboard.
Which worked very well with that chalk!
When I met a young lady in red
Who said, “do you read when in bed?”,
I said, “dear Miss Ling
Do you fancy a fling?”,
She said, “I only read in my bed!”
A careless young lady named Miss White
Often falls in the street at night.
A kindly vicar called Paul
Said, “many young women fall”,
As he picked her up last night …!
When a young man named Lee
Went and tried to blackmail me,
I gave a big smile
And said, “meet Mr crocodile!”
Which ended that blackmail and Lee …!
In the churchyard, something fell from a tree
And nearly hit me
There is a time for composing fine rhyme
About graveyards and mortality.
And the occasional limerick can be great fun.
But trees assaulting me!
That makes me run!