There once was a very fine sculptor
Who was famous for owning a vulture.
The vulture called Mat
Wore a top hat.
He really was a very fine sculpture!
There once was a very fine sculptor
Who was famous for owning a vulture.
The vulture called Mat
Wore a top hat.
He really was a very fine sculpture!
Whilst attending my old boarding school
I knew a most ghastly ghoul.
As the clock struck midnight
He’d play with the light,
Which was strictly against the rule!
There once was an old squire named Ray
Who liked to go shooting all day.
His handsome butler called Morgan
Was good on the organ,
And the squire’s wife she loved to play!
I know a young lady named Marr
Who is always losing her bra.
She is known to be sporty
And I’ve heard that she’s naughty
And the vicar he’s wearing a bra …!
On being stung by a large Bumblebee
On a part you will never see!
I jumped in the water
With the vicar’s pretty daughter,
Who was nude as nude can be!
When a young lady named Jane
Finished making love on a train,
An old man dropped his paper
And said, “Jane! What a caper!
Please can I see that again!”
I met a young lady of Munich
Who said, “do you like my see-through tunic?”.
I said to her, “Rose!
You are wearing no clothes!”.
She said, “we dress like that in Munich!”.
In the depths of the churchyard dark
I met with a vampire named Mark.
When he went for my blood
With my great stake of wood
I ended that vampire in the dark!
When a young lady said, with a curse,
Do stop including me in your risqué verse!”.
I said to her, “dear Lou,
Stop spanking me with your shoe!”,
Which caused that girl to curse even worse!
When a young man eating a sprout
Went and called me an uncouth lout,
I said to Lou,
“Pass me that shoe!
I’ll give that young man a clout!”