There once was a student named Gwen
Who was fond of throwing her pen.
A teacher called Lou
Said, “that won’t do!”,
And threw that pen back at Gwen!
Gwen and her Pen
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Tag Archives: humour
The Ferryman
When a ferryman who sailed the great river Styx
Went and pelted me and my mates with bricks,
Me and Moat
Sank his boat,
Which now lies at the bottom of the Styx!
Lost Shoes
A young lady who is fond of booze
Lost her stiletto shoes in the river Ouse.
Now a naughty nun
Wears them for fun –
We met on a round the world cruise!
Perm
I met a man with a perm
Who called me a worthless worm.
I grabbed sharp sheers
And despite his tears
I cut off that worthless perm!
Matt’s Cat
When a young man known as Matt
Went and bought a very large cat,
An elderly person called Brian
Yelled something about a lion!
And that was the end of that!
Whilst Engrossed in Wuthering Heights
Whilst engrossed in Wuthering Heights
I saw a young lady in tights.
I said to her, “Rose!
You are wearing no clothes!”,
She said, “no! I am wearing some tights!”
Humid
It is humid.
The forecast predicts thunder.
I long for cooling rain
And wonder
Whether the great Thor
Will roar
Or will the weather forecast
Be wrong again!
When a Man of the World
When a man of the world said, “Rose,
The wise young woman knows
That all men they are full of sin!”,
That girl gave a grin,
As she went in search of her clothes …!
Ron and the Scone
There once was a man named Ron
Who liked to go on and on!
A girl called Lin
Said, “forgive my sin!”,
As she brained Ron with a scone!
(The word “scone” is often pronounced as “scon” depending on which part of the UK one comes from).
Whilst Walking Through a very Dark Park
Whilst walking through a very dark park
I met with a vampire named Mark.
When I began to pray
He said, “it’s a play!”,
But the werewolves howled in that park …!
K Morris - Poet 