There once was a man from Bristol
Who was famous for his antique pistol.
When he gave a great cough
That old gun it went off!
There once was a man from Bristol …!
Pistols in Bristol
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Tag Archives: humorous verse
The French Dancer
I know a young lady from France
Who likes to dance on a high branch.
When she’s in the mood
I’ve seen her dance nude –
But not on a very high branch!
A Young Lady of Ill Repute
I know a young lady of ill repute
Who has great skill in playing the flute.
Her friend Miss Morgan
Plays the vicar’s organ –
They say he’s a man of great repute …!
When a Beautiful Young Lady from Harwich
When a beautiful young lady from Harwich
Went and boarded a first class carriage,
And a ticket collector named Glass
Said, “this ticket is second class!”.
She said, “but I am proposing marriage …!”
A Critic Named Green
I once read a critic named Green
Who was famous on the poetry scene.
He wrote my verse
It grows steadily worse.
Now he’s vanished from the poetry scene …
When I Dated a Young Lady in Waiting
When I dated a young lady in waiting
Who said, “sir, are you fond of mating?”.
I said, “my dear Yvette!
We have only just met!”.
She said, “never keep a young lady waiting …!”
Sceptical Claire
When a sceptical young lady named Claire
Found a ghost sitting in her chair,
She said, “I must be drunk
As I’m imagining a ghostly monk!”.
And that ghost he glared at Claire!
Secrets
When a young lady named Miss Moon
Trusted me with all her secrets yesterday afternoon,
I told her about Lou
Who works in a zoo
And moonlights as a stripper on Saturday afternoons!
A Poet Named Cotton
There once was a poet named Cotton
Whose poetry has long since been forgotten.
I once met a pig
Who didn’t give a fig
For me or the poetry of Cotton!
Bill Who Lived on a High Hill
There once was a man named Bill
Who lived on a very high hill.
His young mistress Sally
Lived in a valley
And his wife she lived with Bill!
K Morris - Poet 